Wings to fly

Anita's Story

Sujata Narang

Anita is all ready to leave home, her bindi is in place, she is wearing her favourite green chiffon saree neatly creased.  A neat bun on her head completes her conventional Indian look. Anita stops by the mirror to replace her bindi and looks at her reflection, in there she can see the remains of her unfulfilled dream to be a teacher. To be able to work and live her passion.

“Anita, the girls are all ready to leave, and I am getting late to work”- calls Sunil. Anita is drawn back to the busy morning.

Anita rushes the children out of the house and they quickly make their way to the bus stop. The city of Bangalore is unfamiliar to her.

She reaches the bus stop along with the kids. She thinks to herself “which one of these buses would go to the town?”

Most of the buses had their destinations written either in English or Kannada, a south Indian Language, spoken in the southwestern state of Karnataka.

She mutters to herself “we lived all our lives in Faridabad and there wasn’t any need for me to learn English, oh god! How are we going to get to school? I am worried we might be late!’’

A movement later, a bus stops at the bus stop the conductor yells “Ulsoor, Ulsoor.” 

“Oh yes, that’s our bus,” thinks Anita. She carefully boards the bus with her two little girls.

The conductor shows her a seat. She comfortably sits with her daughters. As the bus moves around the town, the girls spend time glancing out of the window.

Anita is drawn back to her dreams, today is one of those days which she has always dreamt of. Neatly dressed, boarding the bus with her children, on a bright morning, travelling to work.

However, she was not travelling to work but travelling to school for the admission of her daughters. It was a very important day for her. A few events in this day somehow resembled her dream and therefore she couldn’t stop being drawn back into her dream world, despite it being a busy morning.

“Anita has finished her school, and she is nearly 18 we must get her married soon. We must find her a suitable match. Or else it is going to become a difficult job by each passing day.’’

Anita overheard her mother say these words to her father, concerned about her marriage. She can still hear those echoes in her mind.

“Only if, mother understood then, that marriage is not what a girl seeks, at the young tender age of 18. It isn’t marriage a woman needs, to enable her to raise her head with pride in the society. Only if she could understand education and knowledge does not follow gender discrimination. Because of the female biological formation of my being, I was denied dreaming and living, freely.”

And before she was in her mid-twenties, Anita and Sunil have been married for 7 years, they had two young daughters. The couple had moved miles away from their comfortable familiar home to the unknown alien land of Bangalore. Land of different culture, different language, and new lifestyle altogether. Everything was distinct from her native town; the locals did not speak Hindi at all. Her new world was challenging and lonely.

Every day in Bangalore she finds herself, struggling and coping with the demands of living away from home in a big metropolitan city. Chasing, a better life. Life was certainly stranger and weirder than fiction for her.

 “Mummy can you tie my belt for me, I am struggling with it.” says Anita’s younger daughter.

Anita smiles and tightness the golden dotted belt for her. Anita looks at her older daughter and finds her looking out of the window, spellbound in her magical world.

Anita’s glance stays at her daughters and she reaffirms her pledge and says to herself, “I promise to you my little angels I will not chop off your wings. I will give you a chance to spread your wings and reach for the skies, you shall get a chance to study and live life for yourself.’’

“Madam, can I occupy the seat next to you.”, says a woman in crisp voice, in a slightly Asian accent.

The women wore a dark brown saree, she loosely tied her hair and deeply filled her parting with vermilion.

“Oh yes!” exclaims Anita.

“Thank you. Do you work?” ask the women in dark brown saree to Anita.

Anita always came across strangers who ask her this question, because during the early 70’s not many women went out to earn a living. Despite not been able to study and work Anita always kept her dream alive by taking care of her looks. She may not be a teacher, but she never accepted looking an ordinary home maker. She always wore a neat dress, her lipstick, bindi and saree were always in place.

Anita felt pride and despair at the same time. She replied with a shine in her eyes “No I don’t, I am a homemaker.”

Anita looked down she reached out, held the hands of her daughters and yet again she reminds herself “but, one day my daughters will be professional women, not homemakers like me.”

Copyright Sujata Narang