WHAT IF? (Part 2 of 3)

WHAT IF?  (Part 2 of 3)

 By Richard Banks

He returned with their drinks and carefully handed her another rice wine when she had asked for a soda whizz. She smiled politely and made no comment. Sarlek sat down beside her leaving a gap between them that they had previously filled. He had looked forward to this date all day and now he was spoiling it. He needed to get back to how he was feeling before the mention of his work, but the spell was broken. Say something, he thought, anything. He remembered that a storm had been forecast. He was about to mention this when she lent towards him and two fingers alighted on his knee and began walking up his leg. They were about to alight on an area of his trousers unoccupied by leg when his hand abruptly halted her advance. His poker face dissolved into one of startled bewilderment. What was she doing? He knew what she was doing. It was only too obvious what she was doing. There were people watching. He stared into her face and found her making a silly expression that parodied his own. For a few moments he knew not what to do, what to say, then he laughed. How could he not? 

         They drew closer until the gap between them was no more. As before he encircled her with a long arm that dangled awkwardly at her elbow. He considered reaching down to her hand but, as it was fully engaged in the holding of her glass, he decided to stay as he was. She smiled and asked him if he was alright now. He mumbled an apology. It was the job he said. He shouldn’t let it get to him but it was make or break time. In one month his management of Planet Earth would be assessed. His whole future was at a crossroads.

         She ruefully poked him in the ribs to stop him lapsing into another mood. As the oldest of twenty-seven siblings, she felt well qualified to give advice on a variety of subjects that unfortunately did not include planet management. But what she was good at was man-management. She had learned this from her mother who having had nine husbands was a renowned expert. The knack was to get them to do what you wanted them to do while tricking them into thinking that they had thought of it first. Perhaps if she found out more about this planet management business she could find a way of making it seem less important to him. There might be disadvantages he had not considered. He needed to realise that life on Haligan was more than just a consolation prize. She would need to choose her words carefully. She had already had to cope with one sullen silence she didn’t want another but there might be many more unless he could learn to confide in her.

         “Tell me about it,” she said, her single eye trying to engage both of his.

         “About what?”

         “The job of course. It’s making you unhappy, and what makes you unhappy makes me unhappy.”

         His arm began to unravel from around her but she held on to his fingers and pulled the arm back to its previous location.

         “It’s complicated,” he said.

         “I’m sure it is. But tell me anyway. A trouble shared and all that. And who knows, I might be able to help. I do have two brains you know; they must be good for something.”

         “It’s Korea.”

         She recalled their first and only conversation about Planet Earth when he was in a good mood over the signing of some treaty or other. “Oh yes, North Korea, that’s the country that no one likes because they’re making a splatem bomb.”

         “It’s an atom bomb.”

         “Oh, right. So how are they a problem? You said they would have to stop because of the economic sanctions.”

         “Yes I know, but they didn’t work. Don’t know why, but they didn’t and unless I can find something that does there will be a war. Millions could die. It would be my fault.”

         Mia's face became unusually thoughtful. “Let’s get this straight. Planet Earth is a computer simulation created by your bosses so you can practice being an intergalactic troubleshooter.”

         “Yes.” He decided not to quibble over her inappropriate use of the word shooter.

         “Well then, no one’s going to die. The worse that can happen is that you wreck the programme so it can’t be used again. But that’s not going to happen because it cost millions of credits to produce. No one’s going to risk that amount of dosh. If you mess up there’s bound to be a fail-safe mechanism that puts everything on hold.

         “Do you think so?

         “I know so. It stands to reason. You've been spending too much time staring into a monitor. The real world’s out here, not on planet Earth.”

         “Yeah. The trouble is it’s all so believable. There’s millions of these little earthlings and they do all the normal things that normal people do. They’re ugly little creatures if the truth be told but they can be so endearing. Do you know that one of them is running across an entire continent in order to raise money for homeless children? And if I don’t stop this war he won’t make it to the finish.”

         “Sarlek, look into my eye and repeat after me. These are not real people. Nobody is going to die.”

         “Nobody?”

         “Nobody. Now let’s get on to what’s important.”

         “Which is?”

         “You.”

         “Me?”

         “Yes you. Even though you want to leave me and go billions of miles to that dreadful, hellhole of a planet you will always be in my thoughts. But if you have to go, so be it. Me here and you far away making all those life and death decisions that will probably result in Armageddon. It will be a hopeless struggle, a poison chalice, but someone has to try.” She was about to move on to the alternative scenario of life on Haligan when she noticed that he was mouthing words unconnected to his vocal cords. Her bemused expression was giving way to alarm when he spluttered back into normal service.

         “I wasn’t going to leave you. I thought you might like to come too. Yes, I know Alpha is a long way away on the edge of the known universe but it’s not the awful place you think it is. In fact, it’s rather nice. Some say it’s the most beautiful planet in the eastern quadrant, and the city where I’ll be working has hundreds of shops and restaurants, not to mention clubs like this one. The Command Centre owns a penthouse at the top of a hotel called The Excelsior and - if we were to be married - that’s where we would ...”

         “Married!”

         “I was going to ask you once I graduated, if I do.”

         “Are you sure?”

         He nodded solemnly and held her hand a little more firmly than he intended.

         “Then you had better propose.”

         “Now?”

         “Yes, now.”

         He stood up and turned to face her. He spoke in a loud voice that brought to a halt the conversations taking place around them. The words were those of his own language. Thirty-five of them, sacred words that he knew must be said clearly and sincerely. “Colubi, Colati, Colubi,” he concluded, beating his chest with both fists. He looked anxiously at her. “You must say the last three words also.”

         Rising to her feet she did as she was bid. She prepared to beat her chest but he caught her hands in mid air.

         “That is not necessary. We are husband and wife.”

         “Blimey, that was quick.”

         The consummation ceremony, he assured her, would take longer but could not take place until the twenty-eighth of the month. This was the custom of his planet he explained. The time until then was called ‘Na notti nah,’ the days of blessed contemplation.

         They sat down again and as the conversations about them resumed they were lost for words. They hugged as a tear trickled down her cheek. He was about to ask her if she was okay when she spoke first.

         “Sarlek can I say something before we start contemplating.”

         “Anything.”

         “Anything at all?”

         “Yes, we are husband and wife. Anything.”

         “Get me a bloody drink and make it a large one.”

         He returned from the bar several minutes later with a large bottle of bubble wine which he poured into two bulbous glasses.

         “Are you sure you’re okay?”

         Mia took a large sip of her drink and assured him she was. They had, she said, only one problem and that could be summed up in two words, North Korea. She gave him what could only be described as a significant look. “Sarlek, the time of blessed contemplation starts now, tell me everything you know about them.”

[To be continued]

    Copyright Richard Banks