SONNETS FROM THE PORTUGESE
NO 43 TRANSLATED
By Peter Woodgate
Why do I hate you? Let me make a list,
I hate you to the height and breadth and depth
That you can sink to when you come home pissed
With greasy hair and awful smelly breath.
I hate you to the level of every nights
Torment, when your snoring keeps me awake,
Or when you’re wrong but still insist you’re right
And when you burp out loud whilst eating steak.
I hate your ear and nasal hair, seldom cut,
And clippings round the bath from sweaty toes,
I hate you when you remark on my big butt
And that awful habit when you pick your nose.
I hate your looks and God-dam horrid smell
And, should Satan choose, I’ll hate you more in Hell.
Copyright
Peter Woodgate
Gosh - very powerful. These foreign wallahs don't take any prisoners. But I bet it will resonate with quite a few.
ReplyDeleteJust my "bit of fun" and attempted "Parady" of the famous sonnet by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. The original version from the volume "Sonnets from the portugese" is no 43 and starts off "How do I love thee, let me count the ways etc.
ReplyDeleteoops!! just noticed parody mis-spelt
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed this powerful piece Peter. I wrote one sonnet a few years ago, the restraint was a sort of lead into my haiku journey. Nice work.
ReplyDelete