THE MEETING

THE MEETING 

By Peter Woodgate

David opened his eyes, slowly, then looked around. He was standing in a large room, empty of furniture and dimly lit by various candles sited in ornamental fittings that were spaced evenly around three of the walls. On each of these walls, two heavily draped sections secreted, David assumed, windows. Elongated shadows, accentuated by the ornate candle fittings gave the room a Gothic appearance. On the remaining wall, there were no candles or drapes, just one large arched door.

    He began to feel very insecure, in panic mode almost and was praying it was a dream. Suddenly the door burst open and a blinding light had David covering his face with his hands. He opened them slowly and saw a silhouetted figure enter the room. The glaring backlight meant that David could not make out any features on the imposing shape until, as quickly as it had opened, the door slammed shut. His eyes began to adjust to the dimly lit room again and David, although unable to make out facial features, noticed the shimmering aura that surrounded the entrant. David was about to mumble something when the figure beat him to it and booming, with minatory authority, spoke!

“David, I am God and I am asking you to give me good reasons as to why I should allow you to pass through this door into Heaven?

    Well, David, being an atheist, was somewhat dumbfounded. He didn’t believe in God, in Heaven or Hell yet, here he was about to talk to God. He bowed his head and looked down on the floor, ostensibly to avert from the piercing gaze that God was giving him. It was then he became aware of the strange pattern on the floor just where he was standing. It reminded him of a portcullis and David shivered as he assumed what this shadow meant.

    As he looked up God spoke again. “That’s right, it is what you think, you are literally fighting for your death, up or down, it’s up to you.”

David somehow found some strength and answered, with bravery.

“If you are God why are you meeting me at the door? I was always told that it was St Peter who carried out this part of the initiation.”

“Yes, that is quite right David, St Peter should be dealing with this task but, the fool ignored social distancing (he got too close with one of the angels on cloud nine) and now he’s got bloody coronavirus. I've been covering for him ever since and I am getting fed up with it. Do you know the only person that has offered to cover this duty so far was one of my son’s disciples, Judas his name.  However my son has told me that you can’t trust him unless you bung him some silver, so here I am grumpier than usual and you better watch out!”

    David was becoming angry now and told God that he would answer, in truth, but felt he should be given the chance to ask some questions first. God was quite taken aback by David’s reply and felt some admiration for him, agreeing to accept questions.  David, growing in confidence, asked God the first question.

“What makes you the real God? What about all those other gods being worshipped throughout the world, are they real and who should we believe?”

    God took a deep breath and replied, “The fact is David, I am the only God the maker of all things and must be obeyed. There are only two religions in this world: My religion and that made up by mankind which suits individual dreams. I have made the universe, the solar system and the earth. Every living creature has been crafted through me and serves a plan and purpose.” David interjected, “well God if I may say so I think you have made some silly things.”

“Give me some examples then,” God threw his answer back to David.

“Well,” David hesitated for a moment before answering, “What about the wasp then, what sort of plan do they fit into? What use are they? Apart from stinging someone you detest.”

God replied immediately, “you may think they have no use but they have a use for me.” David was sure he noticed a smirk on God’s face as he continued, “I have placed the wasp in the world to assist me in judging people’s character. It is how they react to those evil little nuisances that enables me to make notes on individuals. This is then written down in the book I have before me.”

    God slammed the book down on a desk that had suddenly appeared. A huge cloud of dust swirled in the air as God swore out loud, “those bloody angels too busy trying to be goody-goodies instead of concentrating on their cleaning duties.”

    David then leapt onto the offensive asking God, “Why, if you have all the info on me, in that book, do you want good reasons to let me in.”

“I know,” God was almost jovial at this point, “it’s just a game I play, I do like to make people plead and grovel. You would be surprised how some people lie through their hind teeth, it cracks me up. I know from the start that I will be pulling the lever, for down below but have a bit of fun beforehand.”

    “I shouldn’t really tell you this,” God continued, “but I had a bloke up here the other day, cocky sod, thought He was God. Anyway, he’d contracted coronavirus, thought he was immune and shook hands with someone to show how brave he was stupid bugger. Well the lies he told were unbelievable. My hand was on the lever, ready, but it turned out that he was sent up too early, a ventilator saved him and he was dragged back down.”

    David was furious at this point and shouted at God, “look here, I didn’t believe in you before I met you, whatever apparition you may be, and I am even more of an atheist now, if that is possible.”

    “Oh come on” God’s attitude was almost apologetic, “I’m just having a bit of fun, I’ve had enough of all this “Donkey Work, excuse the pun, that should be my son's job. Anyway, I know you are a good person really and was going to let you in anyhow.”

    David was not listening now, he had closed his eyes and all he could hear was a slow pulsating thump. He opened his eyes, again, slowly and gazed into those of the doctor looking over him. “Welcome back David,” the doctor had a smile on his face, “nearly lost you there for a moment, and our special guest in the next bed too, that would have caused a stir. David managed to turn his head slightly in order to look at the patient in the next bed. He couldn’t see an awful lot but assessed the person was fairly burly. What was very noticeable however was the unruly mop of yellowish hair that protruded from beneath the mass of tubes.

 

Copyright Peter Woodgate