Hope
(A
Sonnet)
By Peter Woodgate
I
walk the streets with sorrow in my heart,
black
clouds descend and sadly we must part.
Chill
rain beats down upon my angry head
echoing
those words, “sorry but,” you said.
Why
this dreadful change, what could I have done?
Thought
we were forever, and lived as one.
My
eyes fix now upon the pavement, grey
and
dour reflections illustrate the day,
all
darkened doorways lead to pending gloom
and
muffled voices fill each lonely room.
Just
when I think my world has ended here
the sun breaks through to throw upon the air
a
wondrous arc of colour fills the sky,
and I
no longer feel the need to die.
Copyright Peter Woodgate
"I" appears to have gone walkabout from the start of the 6th line
ReplyDeleteyou could say:
DeleteThought we were forever, living as one (?)
Ah you notices. I remove the 'I' because (with it) you had eleven syllables on that line & taking it out didn't seem to detract from the sentiment. Hope that was Okay! I know from experience how demanding the sonnet can be... Nice verse.
ReplyDeleteNo problem Len,you are correct I'd obviously mis-counted that line. I will employ you as my editor.
DeleteCheers mate.
Lovely sonnet Peter, with or without the 'I'
ReplyDeleteI liked it as well and didn't even notice the 'I'!
ReplyDeleteI liked it too and my eye noticed nothing amiss.
ReplyDelete