MOGGY POLITICIANS

Copyright Peter Woodgate   

I have read with great interest, on numerous occasions, the debate concerning dogs, their owners and, more to the point, the mess they leave behind.

    Being a dog owner, and a responsible one at that, I agree wholeheartedly with the disgust one has when being confronted by one of these abandoned faeces.

    Having picked up hundreds of my own, aptly named, Shih Tzu’s packages, I have become somewhat of an expert on dog waste and, in particular, what they tell me about the health of my dog. On viewing some of the many alien deposits encountered, I am fearful that the perpetrators may not have long to live and, on occasions, simply could not believe the entire package was deposited by just one animal.

    All this being said, I feel the poor dog, and their owner, get an unfair and over-publicised slating concerning their misdemeanours.

    I, for one, would like to see more done concerning cats. Don’t get me wrong, I like cats but, it does appear, they, and their owners, are allowed, literally, to get away with murder.

    You know, it happens all the time; a sweet grey-haired old lady calls her pussykins in for dinner. He slinks in looking up at her, putting on his best “come and give me a stroke look” gives his bowl a cursory sniff before jumping up onto his favourite chair, which, just happens to be next to the fire, and used by, yes you’ve guessed it, the grey-haired old lady. She then puts him on her lap and pussykins squirms backwards and forwards between her hands whilst purring ecstatically.

    “And what’s up with you today,” she asks as he looks longingly into her eyes, “not hungry today?”

She is, of course, completely unaware, that a mere 30 minutes previously, dear pussykins had been dismembering a blackbird whose newly-hatched chicks would now be left to die.

    Shortly prior to that, pussykins had dug up most of my newly planted pansies before choosing to deposit his faeces in an area not previously excavated. This is bad enough but it seems his psychological games know no boundaries as sometimes he buries his unwanted gifts and sometimes he doesn’t. there’s nothing like coming across the unexpected whilst planting out.

    Unlike dog owners, who can be fined for allowing their pets to soil public area's, and presumably, private areas, cat owners have no such restriction.

    It seems cats have some sort of immunity and freedom of access allowing them to saunter through my garden, dig up my plants, deposit their faeces in all corners and aggravate my dog to the point where he has a nervous breakdown. The cat can then return home where he is treated like a celebrity.

    I live next door to three cats, an Abyssinian Blue, a ginger Tom and a Tabby with a big red collar.

    Unlike the Springer and Labrador who live the other side of me, these cats have never worked. When they are not destroying wildlife and plants, they are either crapping on everybody’s garden but their own or spitting and hissing at each other,

Mostly though, they just sleep.

    I’ve knick-named them, Boris, Jo and Keir.

  

Copyright Peter Woodgate