The Waxwell Road Mob (Part 1 of 2)

The Waxwell Road Mob (Part 1 of 2)

By Len Morgan

“Urf rrr urf rrrrr,” it was ‘the watcher’, Muffin.

“Raff rer-raff,” Sue leaps from the bed but is only the second Chihuahua to hit the floor running.

“Ro rororo,” Mia is a tireless toughie, the puppy of the pack.

The letterbox rattles and a chorus of canine voices give warning to the paperboy - enter at your peril.

A rolled-up newspaper appears, enticingly, four feet from the ground.   Each has their speciality and ‘the jumper’ is Sue it’s what she does best.   She sinks several inches then springs high above the letterbox grabbing the interloper in her mouth and with a deft twist of her head pulls it free of the box and throws it, in one single practised movement, down to the others waiting below.   Mia is the first to attack grasping a corner she twists and jerks upwards producing a satisfying ripping sound, followed by another and another as each, in turn, inflicts wounds on their victim.

Even as they tear at it they can hear bare feet padding rapidly across the lino.   Twist pull throw, one, two, three times, a triple attack from the Waxwell Rd Mob.   They stop, as Len arrives, looking up at him - he can almost read their thoughts – ‘always last to arrive.’   He’s the oldest pack member, and human, need I say more?

“What have you done to June’s paper?”

Mia’s answer is to shred off another two-inch-wide strip from the raggedy heap of punctured newsprint.

“Mia Christa-Dora you’re a bad girl!”

Mia struts away jaunty and self-assured – he loves me really.   As Len stoops to pull the pages into a semblance of order, she begins chewing at his right heel – Mmm not bad.

“You badun!”  

No sense of fun, our gofer.

Returning to the bedroom he throws the paper into June’s lap, “Here’s the remains of your paper, best of luck reading it.   Must be a new paperboy he pushed it too far in and you know our Sue.”

“What are we going to do with you girls, look what you did to my paper!”

Bugs hadn’t bothered to leave the bed with the others, he’d seen it all, done it all before, and chewed up the T-shirt.   He viewed them with contempt – It’s only the Sun – he thinks, attempting to push June over so he can settle more comfortably in the centre of the bed; Bugs weighs 4 pounds, June 160 pounds, but physics was never his strong point.

That’s the trouble with gofers, they’re too wrapped up with personal possessions, Muffin observes, My sox, my coffee, my shoes, my paper, You’d think by now they would realise their station in life and who is really important.

Chihuahua’s thought Bugs 

Precisely, Muffin thought back, licking Mia’s watering eyes.

Len climbs back into bed so Mia straddles his chest, licking his whiskers, - Mmm, stir-fried chicken sauce, we had that last night.

Disgusting, You'll catch his germs, warned Bugs.

Len is starting to nod off, so Mia nibbles his nose and scratches at his beard.

“Ouch!”   You little monkey.   You’re a bad girl!”

And?   She almost smiled.

Bugs got off the bed and padded into the bathroom for a drink.   Ting, ting, ting, ting!   Ting…   Ting, ting, ting!...

“I think Bugs wants the water bowl refilled,” said June.

“Coming Bugs!” The clock projected 06:25 onto the ceiling.

Take your time gofer; guess I’m stuck with what they gave me…   Five minutes later Bugs is out in the garden making room for more.

Len is just dozing off again when Sue hits his chest with a four-footed tackle.   She growls and raises her paw pushing him – wake up!   When he doesn’t move she places the paw on his balding pate and jerks violently.

“Ouch!”

“They want their breakfast,” says June ‘the interpreter'.

Grr wrruff, says Mia.   Muffin watches inscrutable as ever.

“Oww!   Stop it, Sue that hurts.”

Muffin licks Mia’s eyes again.  

They collected Mia six months earlier from Chris Stewart’s Farm; in the Stour valley of Kent.   Both Sue and Muffin came from the same source but two years earlier.   Muffin had been broody just prior to Mia’s arrival and adopted her right off - treating her as her own pup.

“Okay, okay,” said gofer Len, "I know when I'm beaten," getting out of bed for the second time; the red ceiling projection now showed 06:50 but fainter in the dawn light.   “I sometimes wonder who’s in charge here,” he said.

“They are!” said June.   Len didn’t reply.

June turned a page as Bugs snuggled down alongside her.     Muffin took up station on her upper legs a lookout, gazing through the bedroom window at anything that moved, giving a continuous commentary on any and everything happening outside.  

Sue and Mia are in the kitchen pushing and worrying Len ensuring he doesn’t get distracted from the task on hand.   He sets their bowls on the work surface - gold for Sue, green for Mia, blue for Bugs, and white for Muffin, and sets the kettle on to boil.

What’s he doing? Muffin wonders.

Sue pushes his calf with her two front paws, we come first remember?

He goes into the dining room to collect the mugs.   Sue follows, a withering look on her face, "Rrr-rr-ruff."

“Don’t worry Sue, I haven’t forgotten you.”   He bends down to stroke her.

Mia scratches the back of his hand lightly as if to say What about me?    So he gives her some attention as well.   Then back into the kitchen and outcome their individual jars containing small plastic bags of individually wrapped 20g portions of dry dog food.   There are three varieties for each.   Bugs being fourteen has the senior variety with the low protein, Sue is on the diet variety, being overweight,  the biggest non-human in the pack.    Mia is the baby and gets puppy mixture, while Muffin alone has a normal variety.

Len fills the bowls and takes them into the bedroom.   They all clamber onto the bed to await the arrival of their breakfast.   Sue wolfs hers down, and Mia is close behind.   Bugs sniffs it dubiously and looks to see what everybody else has before deciding his is no worse than theirs and starts to eat at a leisurely pace.   Lady Muffin sits patiently beside her bowl, eating nothing, looking out the window until Sue and Mia have finished theirs, and are looking around for more.   As they approach the untouched white bowl they are met with a ferocious snarl.   “Urrr Grrr argh!”   If they have any sense they'll think better of it and look over at Bugs.

“Grrrrrr!”  His upper lip curls and he bares his teeth.  

They turn their interest back to Muffin who is looking out the window and ignoring her food.   Sue moves her head forward slowly and follows it with a timid movement of her left paw.   Muffin snarls again. 

Sue and Mia sit on their haunches watching the other two eat, their faces, pictures of innocence and longing; half a chance and they would pounce and gobble all they could.

Bugs and Muffin eat at their leisurely pace their demeanour says Don’t you wish you had some? 

Mia sidles up beside Bugs keeping her head lower than his.   He keeps his body between her and his food and continues to eat.

As always, Sue and Mia’s wait is in vain, but hope springs…

copyright Len Morgan