Ding dong, the frog is alive!

Ding dong, the frog is alive!

 

By Len Morgan

He was a Naval diver, 'a frogman', in his younger days.  His youthful good looks and boyish charm belied his nickname 'the frog'.  On leaving the service he expected he would leave it behind, but it followed him into civilian life.

Twenty-five years on, his hair was thinning, he'd put on weight and his wife realised that 'the frog' was no longer performing up to spec.

So, after much soul searching, they decided to seek specialist help through their local Doctor.

.-...-.

"What would you like to know, Doc?"

"I take it the blue tablets didn't help?"

"I finished the whole course, taking one forty minutes before..."

"No, go?"

"Huh hum, not a flicker. I always thought they were magic bullets. I, we were counting on them..."

"They only work in three out of five cases I'm afraid."

"So, what can I do, doc? Phylis, my wife..." He hung his head. "It's not who I am." His cheeks moistened. "I, love her but can't seem to show her. Do you understand?"

"I understand, Mr Armitage. I'm sending you to see a specialist. Both of you will need to attend. Would you mind going to the waiting room for a while? I need to make a phone call.

.-...-.

The innocuous music in the waiting room was momentarily interrupted.

'MR ARMITAGE to ROOM 5, PLEASE. MR ARMITAGE to ROOM 5.'

"Come in, come in. I've set up an appointment with the specialist. Here is the address. I'm sorry it's short notice but, Dr Haynes can fit you both into her schedule later this afternoon. It's in the city, so you will need to stay overnight. I suggest you ring your wife and ask her to pack overnight bags."

"Thank you, doc, thank you." He shook hands vigorously. "If it works, I'll owe you a pint or two."

"Make that a double whiskey!"

"Heheh! You got it!"

.-...-.

"You will both need to stay overnight because I have to fit a device. Oh, don't look so worried, Mrs Armitage, it's non-invasive. Fits just like a wristwatch, but I will need to check readings tomorrow to ensure it's working properly. Unfortunately, we do not have facilities for an overnight stay, so I've booked you into a motel, fifteen minutes away. It's comfortable, clean and I'm told the food at the nearby restaurant is excellent. Would you come this way please?" In her consulting room, she took the device from a locked cabinet.

"Are you sure it will work, Doctor?"

"I've used it many times with a 90% success rate, Mrs Armitage. Would you lay on the bed and lower your pants please, Mr Armitage, this will only take a few moments-- There!"

"You're right, it does look like a wristwatch," he said.

"Telemetry. It records responses to external stimuli. You can get dressed now, and I'll see you both tomorrow morning at 10am."

They booked into the motel and had an excellent meal.

"Just like our honeymoon, eh Frog?"

"Yea, except I, had no worries then, and I didn't have this band around my genitals."

"Does it hurt?"

"No. Yea, but only my pride!" He smiled.

"Come on it's getting late, let's turn in."

He lay there thinking. Phylis was sleeping silently beside him. He heard giggles. He realised it was coming from the next room. Thin walls, he thought.

Then, he heard the couple making love. He felt like a voyeur. What can I do? There was a gentle tingling and the sound of a bell. "What the hell is that?"

"Ding dong, the frog is alive," said Phylis, taking hold of him. "Shame to waste this."

They made love as if time had rewound. They drowned out the sounds from next room, with sounds of their own...

"What a night!" he said, settling the bill at the checkout. He smiled then laughed aloud.

"What is it?" said Phylis.

"Were you in on this?" He asked pointing at the Motel sign, 'The Love~nest'.

"It was all in your mind sweetheart. You just needed the right stimuli."

"Yea. Ding dong, the frog is alive?" He closed the car door. "And kicking!" he said. He kissed her, they heard a bell ringing.

"It's nearly 10am sweetheart, let's go get this thing removed…

Copyright Len Morgan