SOMETHING EVA THIS WAY COMES ~ Part 2
by Richard Banks
The President glanced across at his
wife. “So, you do remember, I can see it in your face. Now close your eyes or
we’ll be stopping off at the first burger bar we come to.” She did as she was
told. This she had found was the best way of managing him. It pleased him when
she played along with his little games, and when he was in a good mood he was
usually receptive to whatever she needed his approval for.
A few minutes later they came to an
abrupt halt in a courtyard that, on the opening of her eyes, she instantly
recognised. This was not the first time she had been to The Grand since their
first date but none the less the thought of being there filled her with a sense
of pleasure and excitement that few other things could rival.
The President observed her unforced
smile and the animated gleam in her eyes. “Happy anniversary,” he said in a
voice that was almost a whisper.
Although her next reaction was one of
puzzlement she managed to hide it from him. Anniversary, she thought,
anniversary of what? He couldn’t be meaning the anniversary of their marriage;
that was months off. Her brain rapidly considered and dismissed the other
possibilities until she was left with just one, their first date, but that
wasn’t for another week. Had he made a mistake? Surely not. If he thought this
was the anniversary of that day then it must be, but deep down she knew that it
was not.
The Manager and Chief Waiter came
scurrying out to greet them. In their wake followed two liveried attendants,
one of whom was directed to park the President’s car while the other stood
ready to unfold a king-size umbrella in case an unexpected rain drop should
fall from the cloudless sky. Their table although not in the centre of the
dining room, where the most important guests were served, was none the less
set-out and decorated with a style and precision that was almost an art form.
The waiter presented them with their menus and, having been told by the
President to fetch them a bottle of champagne departed post-haste to the bar.
“Recognise him?” Said the President,
the look on his face suggesting that this was another of his little games. His
wife lowered the menu she was holding-up and peered over it at the waiter who,
she decided, she had never seen before.
“Is he a good waiter?” she asked.
“Good at his job?” replied the
President.
“Of course.”
“He wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t.”
“Then of course, I wouldn’t know him. A
good waiter is unobtrusive, scarcely noticed.”
“So, you’re telling me you don’t
recognise the waiter who served us on our first date?”
“It can’t be,” she said, “he was at
least a foot taller and had a full head of hair.”
“So you did notice him!”
“Well, I remember that. Anyway, why do
you think it’s the same waiter?”
“I don’t think, I know,” growled the
President. “Had him brought out of retirement just for us.”
“What about the Manager?”
“What about him?”
“Is he the same Manager as before?”
“No, the old one died five years back.”
“Oh well, in that case, best left where
he is. I hope you didn’t try to..”
The President suppressed a grunt of
disapproval and consoled himself with a cigar which he had no sooner placed
between his lips when the waiter appeared, as if from nowhere, to light it.
That he managed to do so while holding above his head a silver tray containing
the champagne and two crystal glasses was a feat of dexterity that the
President and his wife could only admire and wonder at.
“Tell me, Raymond,” said the President.
“It is Raymond, isn’t it?”
“As you wish, sir.”
“Am I right in thinking that this is
the very same table that the First Lady and myself sat at all those years ago?”
“It is indeed, sir. It is a handcrafted original by Rinaldi, the elder. It is over four hundred years old and
made from the finest Peruvian mahogany.”
The President turned up the table cloth
in front of him to admire Rinaldi’s work. The First Lady sensing that she was
expected to do the same followed suit. It was indeed a very fine table and for
a few moments, she felt a genuine pride that she and the President had played a
small part in its long and distinguished history.
The waiter asked if they wished to
order now and the President replied that they would have the roast beef twice
with all the trimmings and the cheeseboard to follow. The waiter poured the
champagne and retreated to the kitchen.
“I
was going to order the duck,” said the First Lady, displeased but not
surprised.
“Come on, go with it. This is what we
ordered all those years ago. Let’s relive the past, just like it was. Now, what
about the string quartet? Recognise them?”
“Well, they’re even older than the
waiter, so I suppose it stands to reason that they were here on our first
visit.”
“You bet. Every one of them. See the old
guy on the base. Had him brought over from an old folks’ home in Lichtenstein.”
The First Lady was about to make a
disparaging remark about their combined age when she realised that her husband
was being romantic and had gone to considerable trouble and expense to recreate
this opening scene from their life together. She decided to play along. He
deserved it. How many other husbands after so long would have taken such pains.
But this was also an opportunity she could exploit. When he was in a good mood there
was little he would deny her, except perhaps for what she was about to ask.
She smiled and made her eyes sparkle in
the way she could when trying to engage a man’s attention. “And this was one of
the tunes they played that evening. How clever of you to remember.” She was by
no means sure that this was so, but given her husband’s attention to detail, she
had little doubt that this would have been one of them.
The President’s craggy features creased
into a broad smile. “What an evening that was.”
“But how disappointed you must have
been when I didn’t invite you up to my apartment. Never mind. We’ll make up for
it tonight. Thirty years on and even better.”
He smiled again but inside felt a deep
void of disappointment for what was not going to happen.
“And there I was thinking I might be
losing you to the Justice Minister.”
“What Juliana! You’re kidding me.”
“Well she is very young to be a
Government Minister and you have been spending rather a lot of time with her.”
The President frowned, unsure if his
wife was being serious or frivolous. “We’ve had meetings, yes, in my office,
Government business. I have to see my Ministers. Can’t do it all down a phone.”
“No, of course not, but no one seems to
know what the business was. Could it be true what people are whispering?”
“Whispering what?”
“That you are about to change the
Constitution so you can stand for President again. Our first three term
President.”
“Juliana has other duties to do with
this damn asteroid. We weren’t talking about a third term.”
“So, you’re keeping to our agreement?”
“Have I ever welshed on a deal, even
one that’s thirty years old and which no third party witnessed? Of course, you’re next in line. Why do you
think I had you elected to the Executive Council. It’s a done deal. Satisfied?
Now, can we get back to enjoying the evening.”
The First Lady looked suitably
chastised as if the victory was his rather than hers.
The waiter arrived with their meals and
they began their delicious exploration of The Grand’s unrivalled cuisine. They
had no sooner finished than the waiter reappeared to ask them if they wished to
go up to the roof garden to watch the asteroid swing by on its projected course
between the Earth and Moon. To mark the occasion there would be fireworks and
special cocktails.
The President replied that he was sick
and tired of the asteroid and wanted nothing more to do with it. The First Lady
and himself would be staying below. If asteroid watching was going to delay
their dessert they would be needing two more bottles of champagne.
The waiter departed as the other diners
began to take the lift to the roof. By the time he returned with the champagne
the restaurant was empty of its other diners apart from the two Government
minders seated inconspicuously at an unfavoured table near the kitchen door.
The waiter was about to leave them again when the President signalled him to
delay.
“Raymond, would you be so good as to
pass-on my compliments, and those of the First Lady, to the Manager. When we
first came to this establishment thirty years ago I thought it impossible for
any restaurant to exceed the standard of excellence we enjoyed that evening. I
was wrong. The Grand has risen to new
heights. My congratulations to everyone responsible.” The President nodded his
head in agreement with himself and grinned broadly at the waiter as though he
was now an esteemed friend. “Oh, Raymond, one more thing, would you make sure
that you give him that message in the next nine minutes.”
The First Lady wondered at the significance
of the nine minutes and correctly surmised that a further surprise was to
follow. That it had something to do with the two bottles of champagne he had
ordered was confirmed by the President taking hold of one and, without a word
of explanation, taking it across to his two minders. After several minutes in
which he was seen to fill their glasses and convivially slap one of them on the
back he returned to his wife with the air of a man who had discharged a
necessary but not unpleasant duty.
“Is that wise?” she said in the teasing
way she sometimes used when registering minor concerns. “You know they
shouldn’t be drinking on duty. It could cost them their jobs.”
“Thank you!” he said.
“For what?” Clearly, this had nothing to
do with his minders.
“For everything. For the last thirty
years, every one of them. Couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Of course you would.”
“No way. Now stop arguing and get
drinking. This stuff costs more than most people earn in a week. In fairness to
them, we shouldn’t be wasting any.”
The First Lady replied that she had no
intention of wasting it. Good champagne must be sipped and savoured. There was no hurry, the restaurant didn’t
close for at least two hours.
The President looked at his watch and
considered the luxury of two more hours. “Let’s play thirty seconds,” he said.
“Thirty seconds?”
“Yes, it’s a new game. You start. You
tell me a joke. If you make me laugh you get a surprise and if you don’t make
me laugh you still get a surprise.”
“That sounds like a rather pointless
game. Can’t I just have my surprise now?”
“Joke first. Remember the one you told
me thirty years ago? The one I didn’t get and only pretended to laugh at. Tell
it again, Sam. I want to do better.”
The First Lady, as usual, decided to
play along. She was only halfway through her joke when the President laughed
so loud that his minders were visibly startled.
“I haven’t got to the punch line,”
protested the First Lady.
“You haven’t got time,” replied the
President, “you really don’t have...”
Copyright Richard Banks
I liked the anticipation, the expense he'd notched up, if it didn't happen he'd have a horrendous bill to pay. I like that you didn't actually have the shit hit the fan... Well written as always!
ReplyDeleteWell it wasn't Donald Trump, he would have said it was fake news.
ReplyDeleteThis president was rather cool and like a condemned man ate a hearty meal. A bit disappointed though that he didn't get his wife into safety.
nicely written with the usual humour.
PS The title reminds me of Ray Bradbury's
ReplyDelete"Something Wicked This Way Comes" Is that where you got your inspiration from?