MOBILE LIVES

by Richard Banks

[A mobile telephone rings and is answered by a young woman.]

      “Hi.

      I’m on the bus.

      The thirty-five.

      Not sure. Somewhere between Rawreth and Rayleigh, I think.

      Have I passed what?

      The antiques centre? What antiques centre?

      The one in Battlesbridge? No idea, Nick.

      What do you mean, there’s no way I could have missed it?

      Well, I did.

      Nick, I couldn’t care less if it was bright pink and a mile high - I didn’t see it. I was reading, not looking out of the window.

      Yes, I do read sometimes.

      No, not a book, Nick - a magazine. Cosmopolitan, if you must know.

      Yes it is, very interesting. That’s why I didn’t see the antiques centre.

      No I didn’t see that either.

      No it’s not odd, Nick, I just haven’t been looking out of the window.

      Don’t be ridiculous, of course I’m on the bus.

      Yes I know I said I would be home by quarter past, but I missed the five o’clock bus and had to wait forty minutes for the next one.

      I’m not sure how long I will be; about half an hour maybe.

      No, Nick, I don’t want you to meet me at the bus station.

      No, I don’t need a hand with the shopping. I didn’t get any.

      Yes, I know I went to Chelmsford to buy some clothes, but I didn’t see anything I liked.

      For God’s sake, Nick, don’t be such a prat. Of course I’m telling you the truth. I’ve been to Chelmsford, I missed the bus and now I’m late. What’s the matter with you?

      That’s not fair. I’m not out all the time.

      Yes I know I was out last night with the girls.

      Yes, with the girls.

      No it wasn’t a fella. I wouldn’t do that to you.

      No, I wouldn’t, Nick.

      Of course there’s no one else.

      Emano who?

      What, that Italian guy at Zero 6?

      Oh for God’s sake, Nick, I only danced with him once. He was a friend of Laura’s. He asked me to dance, so I did. It was just one dance while you and your friends were propping-up the bar.

      Okay, so it was two dances. Look, Nick, I didn’t even like the guy. He had bad breath, greasy hair and he was a really crap dancer.

      Forget Emano what’s-his-name. I love you Nick.

      Yes, you, believe it or not. You nearly drive me mad with your insane jealousy but there’s no one else. Why don’t you believe me? Please believe me…there’s no-one else.

      [Silence]

      Are you still there?

      Look, I’ll be home soon. I’ll get a bottle of wine from the off-licence and we’ll have a quiet evening in - just the two of us - like we used to.

      Yes, a takeaway would be great.

      No, I don’t mind, you choose.

      Okay, I’ll be home in about half an hour.

      See you soon. Bye.”

     

      “Damn! Emano, wake up.”

      “What is it that’s the matter?”

      “That prat of a husband has just phoned.”

      “Whose husband?”

      “Mine, you prat! Oh God, why are all men prats!”

      “I did not know you were married.”

      “Well you know now. Get your clothes on. I need to be home by seven, no, make that five to. You can drop me off at the off-licence in Gilmore Road. There’s a newsagent’s next door; with a bit of luck they’ll have a Cosmopolitan. Come on, get a move-on. This may be a novel experience for you, Emano, but I’m depending on you to save my marriage!”

 

Copyright Richard Banks