Mr. Albert Moon Got what he deserved

By Bob French

Jeremy Wentworth looked up at the office clock.  It was ten past ten on a Friday evening, long past the time he should have gone home.  He relived the rocketing he had received from his boss, Mr. Alfred bloody Moon, as he was known by his staff, was a right horrible piece of work. Sadly, Moon was Jeremy’s boss at the Estate Agents in Braintree, Essex.

Mary, his personal secretary, looked up in shock as Moon burst into her office at ten to six.

          “Sir, what time do you call this? Your meeting at the town hall must have gone on for such a long time?”

Albert staggered slightly having spent the afternoon on the golf course with a couple of his mates, then down the Rose and Crown for a few ‘sun-downers’.

          “Oh, be quiet Mary.  No, as a matter of fact, I missed the bloody meeting.  I told Wentworth to cover it. Anything important to tell me, if not I’m off home.”

          Mary quickly studied the diary.  “You have a meeting with the bank manager at ten on Monday and the town’s charity commissioners at three in the afternoon.”

          “Thank you. Off you go then and I shall be in early on Monday, so don’t be late.  Oh, and get me, Wentworth, on your way out.”

          Mary stepped into Jeremy’s office and quietly informed him that the boss was back and wanted to see him asap.  She had a soft spot for Jeremy and did what she could to protect him, so pulled a face at him, warning him that Mr. bloody Moon was in a foul mood.

          Jeremy thought the worst as he took up his notepad and made his way to Moon’s office.  He knocked and waited until he was invited in.

          “Enter.  Ah, Wentworth, how did the meeting go at the town hall?”

          “Sorry, Sir.  What meeting?  I was attending the meeting at the Building Society most of the afternoon.  Was there a meeting at the town hall?”

          “What do you mean?  I told you to attend the meeting on my behalf.”

          Jeremy Wentworth had grown used to Mr. bloody Moon’s behavior; forgetting to do something, then swearing blind he told him that he was to attend to it.  He sometimes asked him to meet him off the train at a certain time, only to find that Moon had taken an earlier train, leaving him waiting like an idiot at the station for an hour or so.   

“Sorry Sir, you did not ask me to attend the Town Hall meeting in the afternoon.  Had you, I would have told you.  Even your secretary would have told you that I was already engaged all afternoon.”

          “Are you calling me a liar Wentworth?”

          The room fell silent for a few minutes, then Moon went into one of his frenzied outbursts. 

“Listen you incompetent waste of space, I don’t care what your excuse is, you were supposed to be at the town hall.  Anyway, I have a meeting at ten on Monday with the bank manager so I want a full run down on our accounts with the bank; sales figures expected gains and losses with the two new housing estates, plus the possibility of staffing cost increases.  I want it on my desk by nine-thirty or else you can find new employment, and don’t expect a recommendation from me, now get out of my sight.”

          Jeremy knew all too well that to argue with this arrogant bully of a man was a waste of time, so kept his mouth shut.  Moon stared at Jeremy with his cruel eyes for a minute, then picked up his overcoat, pushed past him, and slammed his office door behind him.

          It was an overcast Monday morning when Mary quietly approached Jeremy’s desk and waited until he had stopped adding up some figures.

          “Sorry Jeremy, but it's five to ten and Moon hasn’t shown up yet.  Please can you take his place at the Bank Managers meeting?”

          Jeremy looked up and smiled at her.  He liked Mary.  They were about the same age and she had, on a number of occasions, protected him from Albert bloody Moon when he was in a foul mood.

          “Not a problem Mary.  If you can telephone the manager and explain that I will be there in a few minutes.” 

          It was nearly eleven o’clock when Albert Moon rolled into his office.  As Mary placed his black coffee on his desk, she quietly mentioned that Jeremy had attended the meeting as he had failed to turn up.  All Mood did was grunt as he picked up his telephone.  He started to speak to one of his friends about playing a few rounds of golf this afternoon.  Mary tried to warn him again about the charity commissioners meeting, but he just waived her away.    

          Around one-thirty the bank manager telephoned and wanted to speak to Mr. Moon.  Mary put him through and after a few minutes, Mood stepped out of his office with a smile on his face.

          “Where is Wentworth?”

          “He’s on his way back from the bank Sir.  Probably stopped off to get a coffee.”

          “Tell him I want to see him the second he gets into the office.”

          Mary began to get concerned when the office clock struck two and there was still no sign of Jeremy.  Then she heard his footsteps clumping up the stairs.  She rushed towards the door and pulled it open, only to bump into a large bunch of flowers, which Jeremy was holding.

          “Oh, my goodness!  They look wonderful.  Who are they for, someone special?”!

          “Yes, as a matter of fact.  They are for you, to say thank you for always looking out for me.”  Then thrust them into her hands.

          Mary stared at the flowers, then at Jeremy. “No one has ever bought me flowers before.  That’s very kind of you Jeremy, thank you”

          The spell was broken when the office door was flung open.  “Where the hell have you been Wentworth?  I need to talk to you, now.”  And with that, he turned on his heels and stormed off to the office.

          By the time Jeremy got to his boss’s office, Moon was in a foul mood. “Look I have a special meeting at three, so I want you to attend the charity commissioner's meeting.  Brief me when I get back.”

          When Jeremy got back to his office, Mary was rearranging her flowers.  When he told her that he had to attend the charity commissioner's meeting because his Lordship had another meeting, Mary’s mouth fell open.

“He does not!  He’s arranged to play golf this afternoon.  God, the man is a swine.”

Jeremy knew the brief for the meeting off by heart as he had been working on the charity portfolio for the past few years for Moon and was happy to attend.  He came away from the meeting with the distinct impression that Albert bloody Moon was going to be rewarded for all his charity work.  This annoyed him as most of the briefings and background work in the past had been done by him.

In the middle of April, Mary came into the office looking very sheepish.

“Fancy going out for lunch today?”  Jeremy knew that Moon was away for two days.

After the waitress had taken their orders, Mary slipped a posh letter under the table to him.

“What’s this?”

“Just read it, then give it back to me discretely please.”

She saw his eyebrows rise in surprise as he saw the green embossed port-cullis crest of the Prime Minister’s office. then she saw the anger spread across his face.”

“I don’t believe it.”

Mary quickly took back the letter and said that she would respond to it, but would not tell Albert bloody Moon.

Jeremy stared at her in confusion, but she gently placed her hand on his. “Don’t worry, I’ll sort it.”

The month of June brought sunshine and the good news that Moon and his wife were off to Barbados for three weeks.

During the first week, Mary had invited Jeremy down to Devon to look at a really nice cottage on the side of the moors.  She asked if he would like to live in such a place and grinned when he nodded enthusiastically. 

During the second week, she invited him to take a tour of London for a couple of days, including Buckingham Palace but insisted that on Thursday he had to wear a dark suit to look his best.  Jeremy didn’t mind, in fact, he was really looking forward to spending time with Mary.

Early on Thursday morning she met him and gave the seal of approval of his suit.

“Now today we are visiting Buckingham Palace.  When we are inside, please listen and do exactly as I tell you, alright.”

Halfway through the tour and the constant calling of their tour guide to keep up, Mary tugged Jeremy’s arm and led him away from the group.  Jeremy just stared at her.

“Just do as I say alright.”  Jeremey, thinking that it was some sort of practical joke, played along.  She guided him towards some all-wide gold doors with a tall, serious looking officer standing outside.  Mary stepped forward and handed the gold embossed invitation to the officer.

The officer handed the invitation back to Jeremy and then spoke. “Mr. Moon, please follow me, Sir.”

Jeremy frowned and was about to say something when Mary simply told him to do exactly as he was told.

Jeremy was ushered into a long high ceilinged room where his invitation was again checked.  He was then ushered into another room where he was surrounded by lots of people; some in uniform, some in morning suits, and some in dark suits.  He listened to the briefing given by an elderly Guards Officer and stood where he was told.

The room fell into silence as the Prince of Wales entered the room and stood on the platform at the head of the room.  Then, one by one the people were called forward and decorated by the prince.

“Mr. Albert Moon.  For outstanding charitable work to the community.”  Jeremy froze.  Then he felt the gentle hand of one of the ushers, easing him forward.

He was surprised at how easy it was to talk to the prince about all the charity work he had been working on down the years, as the prince pinned a shiny decoration on his jacket.

Then in a flash, he was outside the palace and Mary was running toward him with a huge smile on her face.

“Well done Jeremy.  You got what you deserved, and so did Albert bloody Moon. Now we are going to vanish down to Devon where no one can find us and retire, just you and me.”

Copyright Bob French