Space Junkers ~ Scrap One

By Len Morgan

You’d have thought a joint 1^st in Cosmology, Space Design & Innovation from Oxford would lead me to a dazzling career in the space industry?  Well so did I, but I have a few fatal character flaws, I am completely devoid of drive, ambition and I’m lacking the necessary interpersonal skills which in the 22^nd century makes me a pariah!  Which is just one step above being a psychopath. 

So, with ‘the Universe as my oyster’, to coin an arcane phrase, I went from job to job, dropping a rung on the ladder with each move.

Five years after graduation I’d been rejected or let go by every major aerospace company.  "Not a team player" they said. A loner, by choice, that’s me.  A few centuries ago I might have become a ‘Lighthouse Keeper’ but sadly there are no lighthouses left.  So I guess that’s why I settled for the modern-day equivalent.

I’m a space jockey cruising the junkyard that encircles the Earth. In a purpose-built spacecraft that hangs out permanently on the borders of space.  I’m what you might call the modern day equivalent of a ‘bag-lady’ I haul a magnetized net around just beyond the thermosphere.  I go round and round like the ‘Circle line’ did in London before the big quake swallowed it together with half a million hapless Londoners and most of the square mile.  I live in Manchester now, the new Capital.

I’m not disgruntled with my lot, I do twenty trips (half a year) returning via the shuttle, for a six-month furlough, It’s a necessary job so my pay is commensurate.   I get paid at the end of each trip by The Magnetite Company.  They have/had a contract with the ISC (International Space Council).  Then of course I also had a sideline that earned me three times my regular salary, tax-free. 

The job was, to net space junk and shoot it towards the sun; where it presumably sank down to the core.  But, on my third trip out, I miscalculated the slingshot and sent it towards the moon.  I fully expected to be fired or at least reprimanded when the moon authorities reported my mistake.  But, nothing happened; like throwing a rock into a lake (no splash?).   The other 19 dumps on that trip all hit the target without a hitch, so maybe that errant dump landed undetected in some remote area? 

I returned home to Earth on the shuttle, looking forward to my 6 monthly furlough.  My mail system had messages from Moonbase 3, and a large denomination ‘bearer bond’, informing me that I would receive a similar sum for every load I could drop on the moon at approximately the same location.   I made some rapid calculations and discovered that I would save a third on fuel by dumping metal junk on the moon and I was fairly certain I could hit that spot on Mare Vaporum (sea of vapors).  It was approximately 80 Kilometers from Moonbase 3.  I could make 30 drops with the same fuel. The question is, was a moon dump legal?  What happened when other refuse collectors missed the Sun?  The answer was ‘zilch’ the Company was paid to remove space debris from near-Earth orbit; the safest destination was the Sun, but if Moonbase 3, can make use of it, why shouldn’t they have it?

So, I set up a few ‘Bitcoin Accounts’, and converted my bearer bonds; it just made sense!  Three years on The Company went 'tits up' they were making losses and would not be renewing their contract. 

The Company employed six refuse collectors, but there was always a high turnover in the other five posts, not many space jocks can stand the boredom month in month out…  There’s a learning curve, and accidents do happen when a jock's concentration wanes.  That’s why there have been 9 units Mag 01 is mine, The others still in commission are Mag03 04 06 & 08.  Mags 02 to 05 were all written off by inattentive ex-jocks.  While Mag 07 & 09 were down for routine maintenance.

Apparently, because of the hazardous work, the insurance rates had become astronomical (was that a pun?).  So for a further year, the debris began to build up.  Several commercial craft including a shuttle were damaged by collisions with debris. Yet still, nobody wanted to take on the ‘Junkyard’ contract.

Moonbase 3 made me an offer.  They would take 50% of the contract if I could persuade another Company to take on the other 50%.  So, I sold my Bitcoins and purchased four units 01, 03, 06 & 08, at a little over scrap value.  Then, we made a fair offer for the contract which, in the absence of competition, was accepted. 

We named the Company Scrap One.  For a year I worked without furlough, until I finally, located four other intelligent jocks, devoid of drive and ambition.  I trained them.  If they didn’t damage their Craft they were promised a generous bonus, at year end which they all earned.  Meantime there were two serviceable junkers 07 & 09 for sale with no takers so I snapped them up for a song, hired two more ‘lighthouse keepers’ on the same terms and the rest is history. 

You’d think that with all my riches I would retire and employ others to do the work.  Not a bit of it, I love my work.  We now have a dozen refuse collectors and six craft supplying Moon bases 1 to 5 with scrap.  Yet I still have absolutely no ambition!

Copyright Len Morgan