MOBILE LIVES
by Richard
Banks
[A mobile
telephone rings and is answered by a young woman.]
“Hi.
I’m on the bus.
The thirty-five.
Not sure. Somewhere between Rawreth and
Rayleigh, I think.
Have I passed what?
The antiques centre? What antiques
centre?
The one in Battlesbridge? No idea, Nick.
What do you mean, there’s no way I could
have missed it?
Well, I did.
Nick, I couldn’t care less if it was
bright pink and a mile high - I didn’t see it. I was reading, not looking out
of the window.
Yes, I do read sometimes.
No, not a book, Nick - a magazine.
Cosmopolitan, if you must know.
Yes it is, very interesting. That’s why I
didn’t see the antiques centre.
No I didn’t see that either.
No it’s not odd, Nick, I just haven’t
been looking out of the window.
Don’t be ridiculous, of course I’m on the
bus.
Yes I know I said I would be home by
quarter past, but I missed the five o’clock bus and had to wait forty minutes
for the next one.
I’m not sure how long I will be; about
half an hour maybe.
No, Nick, I don’t want you to meet me at
the bus station.
No, I don’t need a hand with the
shopping. I didn’t get any.
Yes, I know I went to Chelmsford to buy some clothes, but I didn’t
see anything I liked.
For God’s sake, Nick, don’t be such a
prat. Of course I’m telling you the truth. I’ve been to Chelmsford, I missed the bus and now I’m
late. What’s the matter with you?
That’s not fair. I’m not out all the
time.
Yes I know I was out last night with the
girls.
Yes, with the girls.
No it wasn’t a fella. I wouldn’t do that
to you.
No, I wouldn’t, Nick.
Of course there’s no one else.
Emano who?
What, that Italian guy at Zero 6?
Oh for God’s sake, Nick, I only danced
with him once. He was a friend of Laura’s. He asked me to dance, so I did. It
was just one dance while you and your friends were propping-up the bar.
Okay, so it was two dances. Look, Nick, I
didn’t even like the guy. He had bad breath, greasy hair and he was a really
crap dancer.
Forget Emano what’s-his-name. I love you
Nick.
Yes, you, believe it or not. You nearly
drive me mad with your insane jealousy but there’s no one else. Why don’t you
believe me? Please believe me…there’s no-one else.
[Silence]
Are you still there?
Look, I’ll be home soon. I’ll get a
bottle of wine from the off-licence and we’ll have a quiet evening in - just
the two of us - like we used to.
Yes, a takeaway would be great.
No, I don’t mind, you choose.
Okay, I’ll be home in about half an hour.
See you soon. Bye.”
“Damn! Emano, wake up.”
“What is it that’s the matter?”
“That prat of a husband has just phoned.”
“Whose husband?”
“Mine, you prat! Oh God, why are all men
prats!”
“I did not know you were married.”
“Well you know now. Get your clothes on.
I need to be home by seven, no, make that five to. You can drop me off at the
off-licence in Gilmore Road.
There’s a newsagent’s next door; with a bit of luck they’ll have a
Cosmopolitan. Come on, get a move-on. This may be a novel experience for you,
Emano, but I’m depending on you to save my marriage!”
Copyright
Richard Banks