TRANSGENIC PETS

(FOLLOWING A NEWS ARTICLE ON ALLERGY-FREE PETS)

By Peter Woodgate

A GENETICALLY MODIFIED CAT,

NOW HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?

ONE WITHOUT FLEAS THAT WON’T MAKE YOU SNEEZE

AND CAN SAFELY SIT ON YOUR LAP.

 

OR A DOG THAT DOESN’T BARK,

NO NEED FOR WALKS IN THE PARK,

YOU WON’T NEED A LEAD FOR A DOG OF THIS BREED

OR HAVE TO GET UP WITH THE LARK.

 

THERE’S A HAMPSTER WHO’S NICKNAMED KEITH,

HE COMES WITH A LITTLE MOTIF,

THIS CREATURE CAN’T BITE AND WON’T PICK A FIGHT

WE’VE EXTRACTED ALL OF HIS TEETH.

 

WE HAVE PETS FOR ALL HUMAN WHIMS,

PARROTS THAT DON’T SIT ON SWINGS,

MICE THAT DON’T BREED, GUINEA PIGS THAT DON’T FEED

AND A BIRD WITHOUT ANY WINGS.

 

SO, VISIT THE PET-CLONING SHOP,

WE DO A JOLLY GOOD SWOP,

TRADE YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE FOR ONE WITHOUT STRIFE

AND YOUR TROUBLES AND HEARTACHES WILL STOP.

 

Copyright Peter Woodgate