STARSTRUCK (Part 1 of 2)

 STARSTRUCK     (Part 1) 

by Richard Banks

If there’s anything worse thing than being abducted by aliens it’s the fall-out from talking about it. Take my advice if it happens to you put it down to experience and move on, no good will come of making a fuss. I mean, who’s going to believe you, not the cops that’s for sure.

         Wasn’t in the Station five minutes before we realised it was one big mistake. Oh yeah, they were all ears to begin with, saw we were shook-up, and when Leroy said we’ve been abducted and held against our will they were all for rushing out and pulling in whoever we said had done it. Then we told them it was aliens, and we were shown the door. Only wish we had got through it but then one of them asks what we’ve been smoking and suddenly we’re the ones on the wrong side of the law. But Leroy’s angry and insists they take us seriously. “We want to make a statement,” he says, “it’s the law, our legal right, a crime’s been committed and we want something done about it!” Leroy’s studying law at college and knows just enough about what he’s saying to sound convincing, so they sit us down in separate rooms and after they search us for the grass we don’t have no more we tell them what happened.

         Mother says always to start a story at the beginning, so I did.        

         “It goes like this, officer, - we were heading down Highway 181 to a late night drive-in when Leroy turns right down a slip road and then onto a forest track that’s definitely not going to get us to the film.       

         ‘This isn’t the way to Wauwatosa,’ I tell him, but he just laughs and tells me to chill. He has something to show me and once he stops I’ll be more than glad he did. This is not something I want to be hearing on our second date. I’m getting ready to fend him off with my handbag when he pulls into a clearing and points up at the sky and says, ‘what about that!’

         What about what? I start to say then don’t because it’s the most beautiful, starry sky I’ve ever seen. It’s even better when he turns off the headlights. So, there we are, him telling me the names of them all and how the moon’s going to rise up any moment above the hills to our left. And when it does, it seems like he made it happen. If this isn’t romantic nothing is. And then it all goes nuts. 

         ‘What’s that star over there?’ I say, ‘the one zigzagging about between Sirius and that other one you were telling me about.’

         He looks up and tells me half a dozen things it isn’t, ‘but whatever it is,’ he says, ‘it’s coming our way.’ And sure enough it’s getting bigger by the second. Then, just when we think it’s about to pass over us, it drops down and lands a few feet away like it’s the next car in the parking lot. It feels like being pulled over by the cops, so Leroy opens up his window and throws out the smoke we’ve been sharing. But this ain’t no police car and the two dudes getting out are not like any cops I’ve ever seen. Worse still they’re not even people, unless they’ve been painting their faces green and sprouting scales instead of skin. One of them peers through the open window at Leroy and then at me and I breath in something really gross that’s either them or Leroy.

         The creature curls up its wide mouth into what is either a smile or the freeing-up of its jaws for dinner, but when it speaks the creature is definitely on the friendly side of weird 

         ‘Hope I’m not interrupting anything,’ it says in a voice that’s gender male and oddly familiar. ‘Looking for a place called Tucson. Any idea where it is? Sorry to be asking but the autopilot’s down and we’ve been all day without finding the place.’

         Delroy recovers his voice sufficiently to make a noise that sounds like water squeezing through a blocked-up pipe. Then he manages to speak, ‘Tucson?’ he croaks. 

         The creature confirms that Tucson is indeed the place he is seeking. ‘Is it near?’ he asks. He looks at me in the hope that I might have more to say, but to his credit Leroy gets a grip on his vocal cords, and in a higher than usual voice, tells him that he’s in Wisconsin State and that Tucson is a thousand miles due south. The creature seems quite pleased to be hearing this and politely requests the exact co-ordinates which Leroy doesn’t know, but he does have a road atlas which he presses into the creature’s hands. ‘Take this,’ he says in the hope that they will get back in their spaceship and be off, but the creature won’t hear of it.‘This gift is too much,’ he says. They can’t possibly accept an object of such learning and craftsmanship unless they have something of comparable value from themselves. Leroy says that’s quite alright and that anyway it only cost a few dollars, but the creature insists that we come on board and choose something from the many gifts they have for friendly aliens such as ourselves.

         ‘We have,’ he says, ‘rare perfumes from Apixabar, the latest fashions from Delrosia, carpets from Cartobia and the legendary glow plant from Sector 61. Come inside and choose whatever you like, then we’ll be on our way and you can get back to whatever it was you were doing when we came.’ He gives Leroy a knowing wink which, no doubt, would have been accompanied by a sly dig in the ribs had the creature been able to get its elbow through the window. 

         By now it’s obvious they won’t be taking no for an answer and as they are both eight feet tall and have large teeth and claws we don’t have much choice but to do what they want and hope we get out in one piece. But so far they couldn’t be friendlier and they escort us through the open door of their craft into a room that’s twice the size of everything that can be seen from the outside. This, we’re told, is the flight deck and research room where they spend most of their time; upstairs is the rest room in which they sleep and watch old films on TV. 

         ‘By the way,’ says the one who’s been doing all the talking, ‘my name’s Chog and this guy here is Mog. What should we be calling you?’ 

         I tell them that I’m Jo and that Leroy is Leroy which ain’t letting on too much but if they’re wanting last names and addresses they won’t be hearing them from me. But they don’t ask and Leroy moves the conversation along to the subject of their research. ‘What is it you do?’ he asks.

         ‘We’re sort of explorers,’ says Chog, ‘we find planets in unexplored sectors of the universe  and gather data on their lifeforms and geology. Then we write it all up for assessment. Over 80%  we graduate, anything less we start over again.’ 

         ‘So, you’re students?’ I say. For the first time I realise these guys are not much older than me and are probably doing the equivalent of an end of course project. How cool, I think, and me gone no further than LA. ‘Is there anything we can do to help? This is America in case you didn’t know.’

         Chog says that he does know, but that the land based stuff is mainly down to Mog. ‘He’s a geologist which is why he don’t know any language but his own. Rocks don’t talk,’ he adds, ‘so no need for him to. But if you wish to assist our studies a sample of your breath will enable me to analyse your chemical structure.’ 

         ‘Sure thing,’ I say, ‘what do I do?’ The words spill out before my brain tells me this may not be a good idea. But it’s too late now and he has me breathing in and out through a tube that’s connected to what looks like a water dispenser. The liquid inside bubbles and then sparkles.

         ‘That’s enough,’ says Chog. He asks me how I’m feeling and I say fine because, wow! I’ve never felt better, but it’s also sort of scary and confusing. This, I’m thinking, is one big mistake, and the alarm bells inside my head are telling me they agree. ‘Don’t let Leroy breath down the tube,’ says the smallest bell that’s pink in colour and answers to the name of Sal but it’s too late and he’s already taken a puff. Someone mentions Tucson again and Chog says that he and Mog are meeting up in the desert west of there with some other guys they know. ‘There be some serious partying going on, fancy coming?’ he says with a smile that’s close to being a leer. Inside my head, the alarm bells are going into overdrive and red lights are flashing. ‘We’re leaving,’ I say, ‘enjoy your trip.’ I grab Leroy by the arm and we walk weak-kneed, but unchallenged, towards the door.        

           Next thing I know we’re back in the car, feeling the worse for wear and stinging all over like someone’s been sticking pins in us. Leroy’s throwing-up out of the window and to make matters worse he’s wearing my top and me his. That’s when we decided to come here.”         

         The cop I’m speaking to blows out his cheeks and looks up at the ceiling. “Anything else you want to say before you leave?”

         “What you going do about it?” I ask.

         “Well Miss Gilsen, let me tell you what I could be doing. I could be charging you for being high on whatever it is you’ve been inhaling. I could also be charging you for wasting police time, but I’m not, because, as you know, your boyfriend’s father is real good friends with the Mayor, and in the land of the free and equal some people are more equal and less accountable than the rest of us. So what I’m going to do is file your statement under B and take you back to your parents who, if they have any sense, will give you a darn good hiding - or doesn’t that happen on the finer side of town?”

         “But it’s all true,” I say.

         “Tell it to your folks,” he growls.

         We do, and that’s when we find out we’re been missing for nearly a week. No one’s seen us during that time and no one believes a word we say.

 

(To be continued)

 

Copyright by Richard Banks