STORM EUNICE

Peter Woodgate

It blew my bloody wig off

My flippin eyebrows too

I don’t know how that happened

Cos I used a lot of glue.

My fence, well it went walkies

And the chairs up in the air

I think that they have landed

But goodness knows just where.

My fairy lights they sprouted wings

And nestled in a tree

The blackbirds were so happy

They sent a note to me.

My two potted acers

Are not now very ace

They took off in a hurry

And are now in outer space.

I made a fatal error though

When I opened the back door

Eunice slammed it in my face

I woke up on the floor.

She finally ran out of puff

And slowly waltzed away

but I was not so fearful

when Franklin came to play.

It appears they give each storm  a name

Using the alphabet

Each name is added from the list

And I would like to bet,

That there will be a Janet

A Jane and June and Pam,

A Sis and Carole up the line

A few doors they will slam.

Of course, there will be a Len and Pete,

A Richard that’s for sure

But they will not be bad at all,

Just why, I’ll tell you more.

The female of the species

Is the weakest, that’s a joke

They are the strongest, that is true

Far more than any bloke.

So, when you hear each given name

Your reaction should be clear,

If a male, you can relax,

A female, well, oh dear.

 

Copyright Peter Woodgate