TANKA

by Rob Kingston

 TEFLON ANNY.

By Bob French

It was 6 o’clock on the morning of 21^st November 2021, the second anniversary of   the death of Mandy Hamilton’s mother.  She sat quietly at her kitchen table, staring at the photograph of her mum and thought of the good times they had spent together.

They had attended a wedding of a good friend, but during the reception, her Mum said that she felt ill and was going to go home.  But ten minutes into her journey, her mum decided that she felt really ill, and decided to go to A&E.  As she drove down a poorly lit street, an old woman stepped out into her path and was killed.

Mandy’s Mum was duly arrested and when she appeared in front of the judge, the evidence given by the police was that she was high on drugs.  Her solicitor, in her defence, stated that she was on special medication and should in fact be in hospital this very afternoon.  He even presented an expert witness to confirmed the solicitor’s statement, but the judge dismissed the plea and sentenced her to five years.  A year into her sentence, she died.

Mandy, a Detective Inspector with the Met, wiped away her tears, stood, drained the dregs of her cold cup of coffee, then made her way towards her front door.  ‘Got to keep busy.’ She thought, knowing that it was the only way she could get through the day.

Just as she got to work, her phone rang; It was John, a promising young constable who had been tasked with going through the evidence lockers before the old case files were sent off to Feltham for long terml storage.

“Boss, you asked me to tell you if I found anything interesting.”

“Thanks John.  Give me a minute to grab a coffee and I’ll join you.”

Ten minutes later Mandy entered the Evidence Room, in the bowels of Old Scotland Yard.  “Hi John, what have you found?”

“This note book in the evidence box of a Miss Wendy Drew who died mysteriously last year.  I think you should read it.”

Mandy noticed the expression on John’s face and realised that he was telling her something important. Just then her phone rang.  It was her Sergeant.

“Sorry John, must dash. The chief’s just called a meeting, but thank you for this.”  She slipped the book into her pocked and hurried away.

She got to the meeting just as her Boss summed up the situation.

“So, in the last three months, this particular protest group has interfered with traffic on fourteen different occasions, causing complete mayhem, resulting in a substantial dent in my budget and some pretty poor PR for the force.  It is led by a real piece of work; Dame Ann Vetch-Smyth, AKA Teflon Anny, a retired judge.  Now I’m getting it in the back of the neck from upstairs to sort this group out.  So, for the next two weeks, I want each division to concentrate their resources on bringing an end to Teflon Anny’s reign.”

As they left the conference room, a call came through saying that the protesters had struck again on the South Circular.  From what Mandy knew of this group, Teflon Anny and her followers would all be released without charge by the end of the day.

That evening as she sat at her kitchen table, Mandy began to read the book John had given her, making notes as she went.

The following morning on the way up to the fifth floor, she popped into Fred Mason, an ex-Sweeny Todd Commander.

“Fred, do you still have contacts with the old team?”

Fred, a good friend grinned. He detested being a desk jockey and would do anything to get out onto the streets again.

“Your wish is my command love.”

Mandy showed him the list of people she wanted to speak to. “Leave it with me.  I’ll get back to you by this evening.”

Just as she was getting ready to leave, Fred called her.  He didn’t say much, just; “Meet me at the Turks Head at nine.” 

As usual the place was packed as Mandy pushed open the door to the bar and allowed the warm familiar smelling air to wash over her.  Fred called her over and as she sat down, a mysterious hand appeared with a rum and coke, her favorite, and placed it down in front of her.

“We could only find three out of the five.  Two died of old age. One is in a hospice in Kent suffering from dementia, but the remaining two are good to go.” As he spoke, he discretely slipped a piece of paper across the table with the addresses of the two remaining persons of interest.

At ten o’clock on Monday morning, Mandy entered the public library in Brentford and asked to see Mrs. Fay Jillingham.  She was pointed in the direction of a serious looking grey-haired woman who was cataloging some library cards.

After talking quietly with her, she discovered that she had worked with two other women; Wendy Drew and Millie Shilling, all three were legal secretaries to Ann Vetch-Smyth, and was happy to confirmed certain details Mandy had read in the book.  When Mandy informed Mrs Jillingham that Wendy Drew had passed away under mysterious circumstances, Jillingham simply said that she was not surprised, and when pressed, Mrs Jillingham refused to comment.  Mandy thanked her and said that she would be in touch.  Her next appointment was with Mrs. Mille Shilling who, unlike Mrs. Jillingham didn’t want to talk of the time she was employed by Ann Vetch-Smyth for fear of retribution.  Mandy stood and said quietly that she fully understood, then left.

She called Fred that night and asked if he could help with some more addresses?

“Cost you a drink love.”

Five days later, she met Fred in the Turks Head again and received the list of address.  “What you up to then love?”

“Can’t say just yet Fred, but I may need your help later on, if that’s OK?”

During the following month Mandy, with the help of John, visited the people whose names appeared in the book to corroborated the details concerning them and to obtain a statement  to exactly what happened when they came into contact with Ann Vetch-Smyth.  Upon return to their office each day, they compared the details taken from those they visited with the notes on the police case files.

When she met Fred for a third time, she asked him if he could find out where and when the protest group that Teflon Anny led was going to strike next.

Fred called her a few days later. “They are going to be at the junction of the B4557 and the north Circular just outside Wembley Stadium on Tuesday night, just before the England and Scotland game.”

“Thanks Fred.  Now I am going to speak to my DCI, but can you get the serious crime boys ready to do a snatch job?”  She heard him chuckle.

“Just give the word love.”

At ten the next morning, Mandy walked into her Bosses office. “I know you are busy Sir, but I may have a plan that may interest you.”

Her boss sat back, and invited her to sit.

After half an hour her Boss had made three phone calls and had invited Mandy to take the overall lead in the operation.

That evening Fred called her and said he owed her a large drink.  Her boss had just tasked him to lead the SCS, The Serious Crime Squad, on the operation.

At ten to six on Tuesday evening, a couple of scruffy looking mini buses made their way into Wembley car park nearest to the junction of the B4557 and the North Circular. The SCS, who had been scattered around the area quickly identified the protesters as they started to move towards the junction.  Fred had made the point to the rest of his team that he wanted to be the one to collar Teflon Anny.

Just as the protesters were getting ready to strike, the SCS pounced.  Fred, who had recognized Ann Vetch-Smyth quickly approached a group of protesters who were trying to protect their leader. He pushed them aside then grabbed Teflon Anny by the scruff of her neck, spun her around and informed her, in not so many words. “You love, are kicked.”

She just smiled at him. “Don’t worry love, I’ll be out by half time.”

Ann Vetch-Smyth spent the night in the cells and the following morning, was escorted up-stairs to the magistrate’s court.

The judge simply asked her to confirm her name and address, then remanded her into custody until her case could be heard in the Crown Court.  Ann instantly protested her innocence, demanding to know what she was being tried for.

The judge looked down at her papers; “Perverting the course of justice, tampering with evidence, falsifying statements, Abusing the office of a magistrate, taking bribes and leaking evidence to persons considered a threat to the state.”  The judge looked up.  “And that’s just for starters.  Take her down.”

Fred and his group had been tasked with rounding up all those whose names had appeared in the little book that John had found in the evidence box belonging to the late Wendy Drew who, it appeared, had threatened to betray Judge Vetch-Smyth. 

It took Mandy over an hour to slowly reveal the facts surrounding the evidence being presented, based on the details contained in the little book and the statements of those interviewed along with the Metropolitan police case files.  It showed that judge Vetch-Smyth had imprisoned those she was asked to by gangland friends or business colleague for large sums of money, Mandy explained that she could connected these events with the large sums of money paid into Vetch-Smyth’s bank account; to instances where people were imprisoned, including those whose evidence had been altered to protect her associates and the fee she was paid; evidence that she had intimidated her staff to alter statements and lastly, bribes she had paid to judges who, when she and her group of protesters appeared before them, had their cases dismissed.

Members of the press were sent scurrying from the public gallery once they heard the judge sentence Teflon Anny to thirty-five years with no remission.

She met up with Fred that evening just as she was leaving for home.

“Well done love, you got some real low life off the streets today.  Should be proud of yourself.

Mandy looked at Fred and shook her head.  “I didn’t do it to keep those people off the streets Fred, I did it for revenge.  You see Ann Vetch-Smyth was the judge who ignoring the pleas of my Mum’s solicitor, and knowing that she was very ill, still sent her to prison where she died.

Copyright Bob French

 

All my life I have loved Sewing

 All my life I have loved Sewing 

By Grace Petersson 

As soon as I bought a sewing machine I knew I could make a dress.

Once I had chosen a perfect pattern I could plan the cutting out but oh I wish I had an overlocker.

 

Alas in the 1970s there was no overlocker

to possibly enhance my rubbishy sewing.

The main challenge was the cutting out

and a worthy reliable sewing machine.

Although I did have a tried and trusted pattern

To make a reasonably presentable dress,

oh but I cried what kind of fancy dress

could I possibly make without an overlocker?

Just study carefully all aspects of your pattern

always study well before beginning your sewing.

You now have an improved sewing machine

and sharp scissors for cutting out.

 

Most challenging though is the cutting out

to create a well-fitting dress.

Even with an unimpeachable sewing machine,

oh for goodness sake forget about the overlocker

just focus on your competent and clever sewing.

Following the exact instructions of the pattern.

 

What joy in the 2020s a perfect pattern

Although, still check your measurements before cutting out.

Jay, I just love this art of sewing.

Today I wear my cute and colourful dress;

would you believe it I now have an overlocker,

to compliment my trusty sewing machine.

 

To my shame, I am on model six sewing machine

and so different is my latest pattern.

Frustrating it is to thread the overlocker,

but there are now slicing wheels to aid the cutting out.

Online fabric shops are key to the incomparable dress

Youtube buddies embellish and enrich my experience of sewing.

 

Hear this though:  overlockers and sewing machines are equally useful.

But to do sewing of any kind one needs a pattern and the cutting out remains eternally crucial to the perfectly fitting dress.

 

Copyright Grace Petersson

 

 

 

Tylywoch ~ 30

 Tylywoch ~ 30 Sword-smith V

By Len Morgan

   Terrek looked up from his forge, wiping sweat from his eyes, first with a tattered shirt that had seen better days, and moments later with the back of his large soot encrusted hand.   He smiled, tired but content, as he witnessed the birth of a new dawn.   He glanced over at the finishers' racks and noted with satisfaction the fruits of their day's labour.  Five hundred blades and, Jax had matched him blade for blade.  It would be several hours before the next shipment, of a thousand blanks, arrived from Orden, which would be another two days work for them.   They had been working fourteen hours a day for eight consecutive days, they had produced four thousand blades in all.   It took fire quad and sixteen experienced finishers to keep pace.   But, the strain was telling on them all, the target of five thousand in ten days, had to be achieved in the next two days.   Both Jax and Terrek had every intention of heading for the fort at Stokk with the final shipment and were resolute in their intent to join the fight for the freedom of the West. 

.-…-. 

Three hours passed, during which time they slept, then the final wagons arrived.   In the driving seat of the last wagon was Orden himself.   The short stocky dwarf-like man grinned from ear to ear knowing he would at least be viewed with suspicion by the allies.   In reality, he was surprised at their hostility when he sampled their minds.   Though they stopped short of open aggression their treatment was frosty, to say the least.   Being of generous spirit and magnanimous, he chose to ignore it.   They soon warmed towards him however when they saw the depth of feeling displayed towards him by Terrek and Jax.   But, when it was explained that Orden had single-handedly produced the five thousand blanks they would soon be using against the Bluttlanders, he achieved hero status.

"Are you here to mind the forge while we are gone?"  Terrek asked  playfully. 

Orden smiled and slapped Terrek on the back.   "Jus jesting Yes?   I have to be there to deal with brother Bedelacq should he decide to take a hand."

Terrek physically blanched under the weight of the Jelonans playful tap.

"Terrek!   You always jesting…" he chuckled.   "Hello my young friend," he smiled and clasped the hand extended to him, by Jax, shaking it vigorously.  

Jax forced the smile to freeze on his face, flexing his hand soothingly when at last it was released from Orden’s grasp. 

With Orden's help, they completed the work in less than two days.   They rested, while the finisher's carried out their work, and were refreshed and ready to go when the final wagon was loaded.

The party consisted of Fire, Flood, and Earthquake quads; the latter referred to simply as Quake were responsible for transporting the blanks from Orden's Forge.   When they moved out Quake took up point with Flood as rearguard.   The others either drove or accompanied the wagons. 

Despite the rough terrain, Terrek and Jax slept for a full day and a night, then awoke none the worse for their nine-day forced work schedule. 

Terrek with his innate curiosity and lifelong interest in medicine & healing found himself most often in the company of Galein.   He wanted to learn about the uses she had, for each of the common plants, herbs, and minerals they found on their journey, and to describe the uses he'd discovered for them.    Galein was both a good teacher and a quick learner, whilst Terrek displayed an almost childlike need for answers, he could not stop himself from asking the question…  "Why?"

Bran and Orden got heavily embroiled in debating tactics, the merits, and demerits of this or that maneuver, they would argue the point hour after hour gaining obvious pleasure in each other's company.   Jax with little experience in such matters found himself relegated to the role of spectator occasionally picking up snippets of useful information.   He felt like a dog eating scraps thrown to him by diners at a feast.   Later, Orden would explain their joint role in the expedition, which would be, coordinating and communicating between units, over the wide area of the conflict zone.   They would be attached to different units under Aldor's overall control, as he was the ultimate tactician.

 At midnight, the sky was overcast with low-lying cover and the seas were running high.   Scudding clouds distorted the two moons alternately lighting the drama being played out far below.  Heavy winds made speech impossible and threatened to tear the observers from their cliff tops perches.  Two ships had already foundered on the jagged rocks below, the first failed attempt at landfall.   Orden knew at a glance, that nobody living would be coming ashore at Teel tonight!

He established a mind link with Terrek further upriver at Ricc, and with Jax even further North, far away from the raw power of the ocean, where it may just have been possible to attempt a landing.   But, Jax confirmed Orden's earlier assessment, reporting that seven ships had made an abortive, attempt at landing prior to losing their nerve and running for open water.  

Terrek witnessed three ships attempt to make a safe landing.   One was dis-masted and thrown onto the rocks, like a pile of kindling wood, disappearing without a trace on the ebb of the next heavy waves.   Helpless in the teeth of the elements the other two fought to turn away, from certain destruction, only one survived.   

With the cold grey dawn, came the rough but comparatively calmer weather.  

Several ships were beached in the area close to Jax, but neither their crews or human cargo were in a fit state to put up any resistance, nor were the defending forces inclined to allow them time to recover.   Empire troops moved in on the hundreds who made it to shore and put them to the sword, some were so overcome with sea sickness they were unable even to draw their weapons.   When the ships were fired, hundreds more burned in the hulks, unable to get out.   Those who escaped burning, died jumping from the ship's rails or were carried off by the heavy swell.   Others found themselves trapped in treacherous sinking sands and were sucked down to their deaths.   The smell of death became sickening, a rough estimate of the dead, including the crew, was between five hundred and a thousand from the two ships.   The Empire's losses were minimal.   Remarkably the action took less than half an hour, and neither of the ships appeared badly damaged from a distance. 

Major Morten the officer commanding ordered that their colours should not be struck, and the hulks were to be moored to give the impression of a successful landing to hopefully encourage other ships to beach there.   Three more ships landed and were captured at little cost to the defenders.   It was a cruel deception, but war has no rules; it’s kill or be killed.  

The fourth ship carried one of the brides of Bedelacq.   They came ashore the worse for wear but fought ferociously and fanatically.   When the Empire forces closed in, they immediately came under her scrutiny and power.   Following a kiss from the lady, they fought as fanatically against their own side as did the Blutt warriors.  

The Empire troops were withdrawn and had to watch helplessly as the invaders fortified and consolidated their positions with anything they could drag from their ship.   Morten ordered flights of fire arrows, but the wind and the water put out most of the fires before they became established on the damp oak superstructure.   Damp sand was used to easily smother any fire that took hold.   More importantly, other ships were heading for the shore…

.-…-. 

Major Morten called for Jax.   "We need to know how to deal with this creature, or they will set up the permanent beachhead we have all been fearing, and I don't want it to go down in history as Morten's Folly!" he yelled above the crashing seas. 

Jax closed his eyes… 'Orden.   We need help and advice.   We need to mount a counter attack, but that creature is overpowering our forces and turning them against us…'

'I am not permitted to attack Bedelacq's servants directly unless he intervenes directly by attacking our forces.   You on the other hand can get close enough to confront her, and counter her power, and protect our forces.   She initially controls with eye contact.   If they do not look into her eyes they can get closer.   I am unsure as to how many she can control at the same time, without the physical bond of a kiss.   Her saliva, perspiration, and other body fluids all contain a highly addictive drug which lowers resistance to her will.' 

'Then how do we overpower her?' Jax asked again, 'Is she immortal like us?'

'Nobody is immortal, they simply have increased life expectancy.   If you cut out her heart or your own for that matter, death will follow.' 

They attacked at sunset, a thousand against hundreds.   The attack was successful, but somehow she escaped.   However they had no time to dwell on it, two more ships were approaching the shoreline.   Morten ordered flights of fire arrows laced with pitch and sulphur to be fired into the rigging, from the cliff tops, the sails burned and the ships foundered. 

(To be continued)

 

Copyright Len Morgan

HAIKU In ACTION

By Rob Kingston

 

 UNCLE ALBERT

By Bob French

Jim Mathews grinned like a Cheshire Cat as he stepped forward and stretched out his left hand and took the firm, but wrinkly old hand of the Senior Scoutmaster for Essex.

“Congratulations James, it is not very often such a young scout as yourself is awarded the advanced tracker badge.”

Jim’s thoughts quickly drifted back to his dad, who had been a ranger in the Serengeti National Park, and since the moment he could walk, his dad had taught him how to track in the bush, then Jim and his Mum’s world came crashing down as his dad was killed by poachers whilst out in the park.

He was nearly eleven years old then and with his Mum, had to make the transition from the warm, wide open spaces of Africa to the cold and damp crowded streets of Basildon, in Essex where his parents had originally come from. 

That was five years ago and Jim had thrown himself into the Scout movement and had thoroughly enjoyed it, but he still missed the wide-open spaces of Africa, the people and most of all, the animals.

One evening he was watching a football match on TV when. At half time an advert came on asking people to adopt an elephant.  Jim asked his mother if he could.  Her love of the old country was as strong as his and readily agreed.  So that evening, they made a telephone call and paid their money on the understanding that they would receive a pack in the next few weeks with the details about Baba Mushouno, their elephant.

“What does that mean Jim?”

Jim could speak several of the local languages and grinned at his mother. “It means Uncle Albert.”

As promised, they received regular updates about Baba’s life; where he’d travelled to, how he had adopted a small herd, and even how long his tusks had grown.  There were always photographs of him taken by the gamekeepers as he wandered through the park.

Then one morning Jim came down to breakfast to find his mother in tears.  In her hand, she held a crumpled letter and when Jim managed to extract it from her fisted hand, he too burst out in tears. Baba Mushouno was dead! 

The letter did not go into detail, only to say that he had been found dead on the edge of the National Park in July.

Jim’s mother contacted the company who initially set up the adoption, but all they would tell her was what the Park Rangers had told them.

Jim, now nearly 18, and just past his driving test, decided that if he could not get the answers about Baba Mushouno’s death, then he would go out to Tanzania and find out for himself.

He sat down with his Mum and together they planned it.  They still had friends out in Tanzania who would readily help Jim upon his arrival.

A month later Jim flew into Dodoma international airport in Tanzania, hired a Land Rover, and vanished into the bush.  He drove deep into the grounds of the national park until he came to the village of Kwin nugo, the home of his boyhood friend Alex, now a proud Maasai warrior with two wives, four children, and thirteen cows.

Their meeting had been a tearful one and for days they sat and talked about the ‘old days.’

When it was time to bring up such matters, Jim spoke of his love of an elephant he had adopted in the far-off land where he lived.  Alex listened carefully, then nodded.

“I know of such killings.  Even though it is forbidden to kill in the park, I hear rumors of the musungu, ‘the outsiders,’ who pay large sums of money to hunt the forbidden ones.

Jim explained that Baba Mushouno had died probably in May or June, inside the north boundary of the National Park.

“I shall have to visit a friend I know in the Ranger Station and ask for details of the death of Baba.”

“How many day's walk will it take you.  I can drive you there if you want.”

Alex looked into Jim’s eyes. “Thank you for offering to drive me, but you must remain invisible if you are going to kill the Musungu responsible for Baba’s.”

Jim stared at his friend and said nothing.  Even when they were young kids, Alex always had the mystical ability of reading a person’s mind.  After a few minutes, Jim lent across and placed his hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Thank you, my brother.”

It took Alex just ten days to reach the Ranger Station, listen to the information the Ranger had about the death of the elephant,  

Alex and Jim spent the next week going over the details of the two hunters who had entered the Park during the period of Uncle Albert’s death. The first, A Dane, whose only weapon was a camera.  He had been refused a permit because he had not paid sufficient backhanders to the authorities.  The other was a German; Wolfgang Schnieder, who had been caught a few years ago crossing over into the park and killing protected animals. The word on the wind was that he bribed someone and was released without charge.

Then late one evening as Jim and Alex were talking through the last of their plans a young boy came jogging into their village and was directed to Alex’s hut.

After giving the young boy a drink and an offer of some food, the boy told them that his friend, the Ranger, said that the German Musungu has crossed over into the park near the village of Ngulloo.

“Was that all?”

The boy just nodded, turned, and ran off into the dark.

Jim turned to Alex. “That’s seventy miles away.  I reckon we could be there in two hours, maybe three.

After informing his wives that he would be going hunting for a few days, he and Jim left in the Land Rover.

They travelled across country to the outskirts of the village of Ngulloo.  There they sat in the shadows and watched the men who would act as porters for the German, get very drunk.  At dawn on the following morning, three Toyota jeeps with 9 local men and a white man drove out of the village and headed north.

They knew the direction the vehicles were travelling and both spoke at the same time; “Elephant country.”

Their plan was simple. Whittle down the porters until only the German was left, then deal with him.

During the first night, Alex managed to crawl forward and contaminate the water of one of the guards who had fallen asleep with Giraffe urine; odorless, tasteless, and guaranteed to give anyone diarrhea for a week. Whilst Jim had singled out the lead jeep and punctured its fuel lines.

The morning brought complete chaos to the hunting party. The German started to beat the driver for being unable to start his jeep and kick and punch the sick man for failing to hold his drink.  He then ordered them to stay with the jeep until his return.

As the two jeeps pulled away, Alex crept forward and tied a long piece of rope to the last jeep.  At the end of the rope was a freshly killed antelope.  When Alex joined Jim, they laughed.  The smell of fresh meat would attract wild animals for miles around. Sure enough, by midday, they watched as the two jeeps were being chased by a pride of lions and had already driven off the route leading to the elephants.

That night, having disposed of the raw meat, the hunting party built a sturdy camp and posted guards around it.  Jim and Alex could observe the German getting annoyed with everyone as the night wore on. Foolishly they left their jeeps outside their camp, so Jim crept forward and removed the spare wheels from both jeeps, whilst Alex had found a whistling thorn tree not far from their camp, cut off a couple of long ugly thorns, and pushed them into the rear tires of both jeeps.

After eight miles or so, the jeeps started to lose control.  When they finally stopped, the German quickly realised that both sets of rear tires had punctures. Jim and Alex smiled as the German really lost his temper.

“Where are the spare wheels, you idiots?”

The men exchanged looks and shook their heads in confusion.  Thinking that they had forgotten to properly check their vehicles, he started to beat them with his cane.

“Right!  Take the front wheels off your jeep and replace my two back wheels, then leave me all the water!”

The remaining men now realised that for them to survive, they must walk back to the village of Ngulloo without protection or water.

Jim and Alex, who lay observing the fiasco, smiled at each other.  Their plan was working. 

After several hours of cursing and grunting, the wheels were changed.  The German, who had continually beaten the men whilst they changed the wheels pushed them aside.  Inspected their handy work, then grabbed his driver and pushed him into the driving seat, and pointed north.   Within minutes, all that was left was a cloud of dust in the distance.

They tracked the Jeep until it came to a wide-open plane and watched the Jeep skid to a halt.  The German was still ranting and raving and Jim could see he was asking the driver which way to go.  The driver just shrugged his shoulder, which got him another beating.

“We have to get rid of the driver?”

Alex smiled, “I know just the trick,” and started to look around for a long thin branch, then bound together two thorns from the whistling Thorn Tree, spacing them exactly two inches apart.

When he finished, Jim laughed. “Ah, the old snake bite trick, well-done Alex.”

As darkness fell, the German, still fuming, retired to his tent after ordering the driver to stand guard in the Jeep.  Around midnight, the driver decided to relieve himself and wandered off into the bush. Alex had positioned himself in a piece of ground where the moon shone the brightest and waited. Just as the driver bent down, Alex pushed the long thin branch with the two thorns into the driver’s leg.

The driver leapt up, dragged up his trouser leg, saw the tell-tell signs of a snake bite, and screamed.  His first thought was of survival and rushed back to the jeep, started it up, spun it around, and sped off into the night back towards the village of Ngulloo.

The German came scampering out of his tent, only to see the tail lights of his Jeep fading in the dark.  Realising he could do nothing about the situation, went back into his tent yelling obscenities at the moon.

During the night Alex and Jim rigged the trap in the open space in front of the German’s tent, then retired into the bush to wait. 

At dawn, the German came strutting out of his tent straight into the trap. The wire gripped his ankle hoisting him two feet off the ground.

Jim and Alex let him blow off steam before they approached him.

“Well, what do we have here?” Alex said.

“Get me down from here you idiots.  Can’t you see I’m trapped!”

Jim approached the German. “You are being punished for killing an elephant last year inside the park.  We will leave some freshly killed buck beneath you.  That should bring the hungry ones to you.  Once they have eaten the food, they will turn on you.”

The German screamed at him. “You can’t do this. I was told that I was outside the park.”

“It was only an elephant. You can’t kill me just for an elephant.  Cut me down, now!”

Jim spoke quietly to the German. It wasn’t just an elephant, Baba Mushouno was special to me.

“What do you mean, and what name did you call it?”

“Baba Mushouno.”

“What does that mean?”

Jim was silent for a minute, then spoke clearly.  “In English, it means Uncle Albert.”

A week later whilst Jim was enjoying Alex’s hospitality, they received word from the Ranger Station that a team of poachers and their foreign hunter had been killed in the park. 

The Ranger’s took no action.

Copyright Bob French

 

 PAST TIMES 

by Richard Banks 

It was Saturday, time to get up and clean the car. Not that I wanted to. After a week on the road reping bathroom consumables I really wasn’t in the mood. But it had to be done and on a blue sky day there was no good reason for not doing what couldn’t be put-off past Sunday evening. Of course I only had myself to blame for the way I was feeling, too much to eat and drink the night before. Little wonder then that, after a restless night, indigestion and a hangover were giving me all the excuses I needed to stay in bed. None-the-less I got up. Of course I got up! I’m a doer not a shirker and with a few pills inside me I was on the job by nine and determined to be feeling better by lunchtime and the big match on Sky. 

         I suppose when you have a hangover there’s no better job than sloshing water about on a warm day and with that thought in mind I was almost as wet as the car when the hose went bang and the water stopped. It must be a fuse I thought, but with wet hands and wet everything else this was not the moment for finding out. So, I finished off the car with a bucket of water and a chamois, got changed, and with dry hands set about putting things right. It was a five minute job. At least it should have been, except that there was nothing wrong with the fuse or anything else I could see. It was a job for the shop where I bought it and with only thirty-five minutes until kick off I departed there minus guarantee which had expired the week before. 

         The day was not going well but nothing a good win over United wouldn’t put right. Then it got weird. There was a new face behind the counter. Usually it was Kevin, if not him the Governor, but today it was Arnie. But Arnie belongs to eight years ago. What is he doing here? But with two customers in easy earshot I’m not about to ask. For now we’re two guys who don’t know each other and whose only business involves the repair of a pressure hose. He gives me a receipt on which he has scribbled, ‘round the back, 15 minutes’. He means the kitchen where we use to meet when the shop was a cafe, the four of us, the ‘Invincibles’  the guys who would never get caught, and so far no one has. I should be beating a rapid retreat but I don’t. What would be the point? If he don’t know where I live he’ll soon will, the shop has my address. I stay and make myself a cup of tea. If Arnie says fifteen minutes it’s more likely to be twenty and anyway the shop doesn’t shut for lunch until 12.15 so I’m not surprised when he waltzes in fifteen minutes later. 

         The players will be on the pitch, the match about to start but that don’t matter any more. I’m looking at a dead man and he’s looking at me like it’s Halloween and he’s playing the scariest trick of all time.

         “Thought you were dead,” I say. 

         He doesn’t reply. He tries not to scowl but he does. Never did like the bugger. Then he smiles, more friendly like. Perhaps this is going to be OK.

         “Haven’t you made one for me?” He points at my mug or perhaps the kettle. 

         “Black, no sugar?” I say. Even after all these years I remember that as clear as all the other stuff I would rather forget. I switch on the kettle and put a teabag in a mug that declares the owner’s allegiance to the Hammers. No change there. 

         “So how come you’re in the land of the living?” I ask. I try to make it sound like normal conversation but normal it ain’t. 

         “Well, no thanks to you, that’s for sure. But I suppose I’ve only got myself to blame. Never trust a villain and in those days that’s exactly what you were, a villain with a gun I didn’t know you had. And don’t think because you shot me in the back I don’t know it was you. Who else was there in Kenning Forest at 3am? No one, just you and me, unless you count Bernstein but then he was the reason we were there, the guy we had robbed and were about to bury. No shallow grave for him, you said, you wanted it dug deep so there was no chance of him being found. Room enough for two is what you really meant, except you didn’t. That would have been stupid, even more stupid than me thinking you were a mate. Anything to say or are you just going to sit there looking like the ghost you wish I was?” 

         So, what do you say to a man you shot and left for dead, face down and three feet under? How did I slip up I’m thinking. If I still had the shooter I’d finish the job, but now he’s the one pointing a gun. 

         “Well?” 

         “What can I say, you’ve got me, guilty as charged. Pull the trigger if that’s what you want, but then what good would that do? Why risk spending the rest of your life in prison when you can have all the money that’s owing you. £200K? What about that? No, tell you what, I owe you big time, so you can have half as much again. That’s from my share. What do you say, Arnie? Come on now, you know it makes sense.” 

         “Yeah, that sounds good except that you can’t give me what you don’t have. How did you blow it, Billy? The nags, poker, slots? The bookmaker’s friend that’s what you are. Let’s face it, if you still had the dough you wouldn’t be doing a shitty job pedalling bathroom tat. No, you gambled it away long ago which is why this is all about revenge. Let me tell you what’s next. I’m going to shoot you in the guts and watch you slowly bleed out, then I’m going to bury your dried out carcass next to Bronstein, by that old ruin that use to be a hunting lodge. So, Billy, any last words? Aren’t you going to make a dash for it? Too shit scared? In that case here we go. I’m pulling the trigger. Now!” 

         The gun fires, I scream, scream again, keep screaming but no body hears, so no one comes. I’m on the floor leaking blood. The glare of the sun streams through the window across my face. I shut my eyes to block it out. Then it all goes black, not a glimmer and I’m falling down a big rabbit hole to Lord knows where. “Help me!” And someone does.        

         “It’s OK, Mr Forbes, keep still. No cause for alarm. I’m Dr Assam. You’re in St Benets hospital. I’m afraid you’ve had a bit of an accident – an electric shock from that power hose you were using. You blacked out for a while but you’re back with us now. We’ll be keeping you here overnight but, all being well, you should be leaving us tomorrow. How do you feel, fit enough to answer a few questions? If not it can be put it off until you’re up to it.” 

         “No, that’s fine. St Benet’s you say?”

         The geezer in the white coat smiles. “Yes,” he says. “I’ll hand you over to Sergeant Willard.  He was passing your house when the paramedics arrived.”

         He moves to one side and a rosser steps forward into view and sits down by the bed. He reads me my rights and gets out his notebook.     

         “You’ve been talking in your sleep, Mr Forbes. An interesting conversation with Arnie about missing persons and an unsolved crime. You can deny it, of course. No doubt you will, but if we find those bodies near the old gatehouse it won’t be looking good for you. ..I gather you support Spurs?” 

         “Did they win?” 

         “No sir, it seems their luck is no better than yours, but at least they get to go home. As you keep pointing out this really isn’t your day.”

 

The End

             

Copyright by Richard Banks