Riddles 17

 Riddles 17

 

By the Riddler

The Riddler has two puzzles for us today:

 

No 1.  Though not alive I have five fingers; what am I?

 

No 2.  Which word is written INCORRECTLY in the Dictionary?   

 

Keep em coming Riddler

 

Drink on me

Drink on me

By Jane Goodhew

Drink on me you said.

So, I went to the bar and ordered the wine.

The waiter brought it over.

As he proceeded to pour, I noticed you were no more.

Sat at the table but perched at the bar.

Your hand under your chin as you stared into her eyes.

 Laughed at her jokes and paid for her drink.

So, remembering what you had said about.

Drink on me

I, glass of red wine in my hand,

Walked with my head held high,

Then I raised the glass and watched your face turn pale

As I said aloud “You said have a drink on me”

And that is what you have

The wine rang down and stained  his shirt

But so what, he should not have been such a flirt!

 

Copyright Jane Goodhew

 Riddles 16

By the Riddler

 

The Riddler has two puzzles for us today:

 

No 1.  One in a minute, two in a moment, but never in a thousand years!  What?

 

No 2.  What tyre doesn’t move when a car turns right?   

 

Keep em coming Riddler

 A STRANGE PARADISE

By Bob French

It was my tenth birthday and my Mum had arranged for some of my class mates to come over for a birthday party. Halfway through stuffing my face full of birthday cake and sweets, my dad appeared dressed in some sort of explorer’s outfit.  He had a slouch hat, dark glasses and sandy coloured jacket and slacks.  I noted that his boots were desert boots and had seen some service by the state of them.

He waived his arms around until the room fell into silence.

“OK, Who’s for an adventure?”

Everyone started cheering as I looked at my Mum.  Dad never did anything spontaneous before.  He usually just sat in front of the TV while Mum rushed around the house doing things like making the beds, doing the washing or cooking.  Anyway, he told us all to make a line in the hall way and wait until he was ready.

We must of stood there for nearly ten minutes, then the front door opened, letting the bright warm sunshine flood our hallway.

“Right follow me.  No one must get left behind, so keep checking behind you to see if your friend is there.”

With that we followed Dad out of the house, marching as we went.  He turned down the side of the house and up to the back of a small lorry.

“Right, everyone in.  Once you are in, seat yourself down on the cushions and get comfortable.  The ride won’t take long.”

We’d gone no more that five minutes before Jimmy, the boffin of our class, started to look a little green.  Then without warning he vomited up most of the birthday cake he had stuffed into his face.

Frank, who had been complaining about the amount of cake Jimmy was eating at the party laughed. “That’ll teach you to be such a porker Jimmy.  I think we should call you ‘oink’ from now on.”  This brought laughter from all his friends, where the fear of being sick once filled the back of the lorry.

Suddenly, the lorry started to bump around as though it was driving fast over a ploughed field.  The boys cheered and the girls screamed as they were thrown all over the place.

Then without warning, the lorry came to a halt, bringing a sigh of relief of everyone. The back doors were opened and Dad laughed as he peered into what looked like a mass of bodies scattered all over the place.

“Anyone hurt?  No! Right then get back onto your cushions and put these face masks on.  You must not play with them or take them off or try and sneak a peep.  If you do the magic spell which is about to be cast upon each of you will not work.  The last time a party came this way, one of the boys took his face mask off.”

He left a pause until Joan asked. “What happened to him Mr Jenkins?”

Dad simply said in a quiet, haunting voice “I don’t know.  He vanished.  No one ever heard of him again, so follow the rules and no peeping. Now line-up.

Once we were in a straight line, Dad started to chant some foreign gibberish language which I assume was the magic spell.  When he finished, He asked us all to shout “Ingo Alohomora,” which I recalled reading in one of Harry Potters books.

Once we had yelled the magic spell we were told to turn to our left.

“Now please put your left hand on the shoulder of the person in front of you and start to march.” We could hear the sounds of laughter and music, and Frank yelled out, “We are going to the fair.” But without warning the party turned a sharp left and suddenly the warmth of the sun had left us.  Now it was cold, and there was a wind that rushed over us, ruffling our hair, and the sounds we had heard before had gone.

We walked for about ten minutes until Dad yelled to everyone to stop. The suspense was killing me, something my dad always said when he was watching the TV. Then one by one he flicked a switch on our masks.  Everyone gasped.

“Stand still and one of my hunters will assist you into the chief’s hut.  Whatever happens, do not panic, or attempt to take off your mask.

I could hear most of my class mates chattering nervously. Then I felt someone take my hand and carefully guide me into somewhere warm.

My hunter adjusted my mask and suddenly I was transported into the deep undergrowth of a massive rain forest. I heard Joan scream with delight behind me.  Without warning a huge warrior looking man approached me and pointed me to follow him.  Fear took over and I did as I was told.  He took me deep into a beautiful forest where a huge array of brightly coloured butterflies fluttered around my head.  Very gently I raised my hand and they settled on it. Frank was ahead of me and I smiled because he had found a stump of an old tree and had sat down and was talking to a pair of monkeys who had come down from the trees to speak to us.

Over to my right I could see Joan and Margaret, gently stoking a huge python snake that had, like the monkey’s, come down from the canopy to investigate who the new guests were to their part of the forest.

I heard my dad calling us back to the Chief’s huge mud hut.  He smiled at me. “It’s time to go hunting.” And before the rest of my friends could protest, they were given bows and arrows and spears. 

Without warning, the chief hunter raised his hand and we followed him deep into the jungle. At first, we walked slowly and carefully, not wanting to give our position away to the pray.  We heard a variety of wild animal sound, but nothing charged us or frightened us. Then as if by magic, the bushes opened up and we stood and stared at a small lake surrounded by a variety of wild animals.  The chief hunter told us where to stand and not to move.  I was totally fascinated by the variety of animals that stood side by side and drank from the lake.  

The chief hunter then looked up at the sun and nodded, then quietly, we moved back into the lush green jungle and made our way quietly back to the Chief’s encampment.

Dad met us and explained that it was dinner time and we had all been invited to eat with the chief. He reminded us that if we refuse the food offered you will offend the Chief and his people.”

I could see the expression of fear on my friends faces as the invite sank into their minds. It was Frank who broke the silence.

“I think we should ask Oink to taste the food first as he seems to be the expert.”

No sooner had he said it, than Jimmy had taken a bowl from one of the serving maidens and started to munch his way through the food.

“Frank, this is really good food.  I think it tastes like trifle.”

That was all it took to change the minds of everyone.

Once they had finished the food offering, The Chief then explained to my dad that it was time for dancing.  Now I might be good at football, cricket and even swimming, but I can’t dance to save my life.

The drums started to beat to a rhythm and we were all dancing around a huge sparking fire, screaming and laughing, except Oink, who had eaten too much and was slumped down beside the Chief’s daughter. 

My dad took me and Frank aside briefly and warned us that what ever happens, Jimmy was to leave with us two or he will end up being either married to the Chief’s daughter or their next meal for the Chief’s tribe.

The evening became darker as the time dragged on and then dad raised his hand.

“Right everyone.  It is time to get back home.  Frank. Remember what I told you about Jimmy.”

We danced for a few minutes more then we were told to get back into a line, put our hand on the shoulder in front of us and we started to move again.  The journey back in the lorry was just as rough, but we didn’t mind.  The party and the adventure out into the strange paradise had been something I would never forget.

“Alright everyone, please carefully remove your face masks and hand them to Harry, our driver.  I hope you enjoyed the expedition and remember; no one must know that you have been deep into the rain forest. And met up with Chief Monoluggo and his tribe.”

That night my dad sat down in front of the TV and drank his tea. “You know luv, hirering those Virtual reality masks for the party were a good idea.

Copyright Bob French

 When Life takes you to a Difficult place

By Jane Goodhew

 

 

When life takes you to a difficult place

Which one day it will                                                 l

Where choices seem too hard to make

Sit awhile and think so you can choose with care

Give yourself some space                                                                     

                                                                  

Do not rush where angels fear to tread

Or remain stagnant for fear or dread

Of things that may never happen

For they may drive you to tears

Your imaginary fears

 

Sometimes we need to strike whilst the iron is hot    

For a stitch in time saves nine they say

 But at others

Enter the world of make believe

To a fictional land                   

                                                                                    

To sit or lie upon the sand                                                                

And hear the waves splash upon the shore

Or be high up a hill where life seems so peaceful and still

 

Where you just watch the clouds go by

and see so many things fly high into the sky

 

Depending on the time of day

You can see

Not just changing colours but imaginary people or animals   

                              

that were once perceived as gods               

they are still there in the clouds                                

so just let your fantasies run wild

                                                                                                                                

At night, look for the moon so bright

 it will lead the way

To yet another place           

In the galaxy beyond the stars

Take your time so that you may see

Which choice to make which road to take    

 

   Copyright Jane Goodhew                                                                                           

 STOUGHT THOUGHTS

By Peter Woodgate

The pint of Guinness stood upon the table

A creamy head complete with shamrock leaves

And I was looking forward to consuming

That liquid velvet sliding down with ease.

 

When I was halfway through my Irish nectar

I stopped to think, and pondered for a while

Had I enjoyed the half consumed or would the half to come

Be relished more? This strange thought made me smile.

 

But what of life, when do the thoughts

Revert from front to back?

And all those dreams that once we had

Are simply things we lack.

 

This cunning cogitation would not leave me

And made me feel quite sad and somewhat blue

I then picked up the glass and drank the other half

Went to the bar and then drank quite a few.

 

Copyright Peter Woodgate

 Children’s Delight

Jane Goodhew

The car drove up the drive and two

little girls jumped out.                          

Their mass of red curls                                                      

bobbing up and down like a cork at sea

as they excitedly ran towards me.

                                                  

Can we see them, can we see them

Are they still here?

The fairies at the bottom of your garden

That fly through the air with colourful wings

The elves and the pixies too that swing up into the trees

And hit you with the acorns as they do like to tease.

                                    

I look at them and smile and say

They might even sit next to you one day

When you are still and don’t make much sound

 

We’ll be silent, we’ll sit still.  Won’t we they said

And they each nodded their heads

And looked with hope in their eyes

 

They are still here

If you look you’ll find

And if you listen

You may hear them                                              

Laughing and giggling

As they have such fun

Flying around in the noon day sun

Or looking for shelter when it rains

Beneath a leaf or blade of grass

The drops glisten like diamonds

On their wings

As they suddenly fly past

so fast                                           

Come along, we won’t just sit

Collect some rose petals as you go

Then we can make them beautiful dresses

And some to weave through their golden tresses

For when they go to the ball

At their friend the Toad who lives at the Hall

 

Can you see them now I say

And their look would brighten the dullest day

And how their eyes sparkle and gleam

As they realise it isn’t a dream.

For there in a circle they see them all dance

And the girls just stare as if in a trance.

 

Copyright Jane Goodhew