Followers

Tuesday 9 January 2024

Riddles 11

 Riddles 11

 

By the Riddler

The Riddler has only one puzzle for us today:

 

    You are captured by a sadistic terrorist group that loves playing mind games with their victims.

You are told:

 

a)           You will enter a Unit with two rooms in the first there are three switches, A B C.

 

b)           In the second room there are three light bulbs, 1  2  3.

 

c)           You can enter each room only once!  If you re-enter either you will be blown to bits.

 

d)           The door locks as you enter, but there is an exit pad at the door ~ 1  2  3.  The correct exit code is dependent on which switch is connected to which light bulb.

 

e)           So, how do you discover the code?

 

f)             You have only 30 minutes to enter ABC ~ BCA ~ CAB ~ CBA ~ BAC ~ ACB.

.  And exit the Unit safely.

 

g)           Warning!  A wrong guess will result in your death…

 

h)           So how do you work out the correct code?

 

Have Fun!  

 

Keep em coming Riddler

 


Saturday 6 January 2024

FRIDAY NIGHT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT

 FRIDAY NIGHT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT 

(Based on the words of Herman’s Hermits 1965 song ‘Silhouettes’ (on the shade.)

By Bob French


Frank stood in front of his full-length mirror and admired himself. He had just been given a pay rise and with his savings had gone down to Burtons, on the high street, and bought a Beatles suit, a high collar white shirt, just like that worn by Paul McCartney, and a pair of two-inch-high-heel boots worn by the Beatles.

He stood there for nearly five minutes admiring himself, then spoke to his image with confidence. “If this doesn’t catch Jenifer’s attention, then I give up.”

The Saint Benedict Youth Club in Romford, just behind Woolies, was the place to be on a Friday night. Ever since he, and all his mates, had left school, a year or so back, they had kept their promise that no matter what, they would meet up at the Friday night dance at the club.

He straightened his tie as ‘Love, Love Me Do,’ by the Beatles, burst into his bedroom via the small Japanese transistor radio his dad had bought him for his eighteenth birthday, and he smiled to himself. “This is going to be the night.”

Frank and Jenifer had, what one would call, a casual friendship.  Whenever they met, they were always accompanied by their friends; even when he asked her to dance, everyone would get up and join in.  So far, he had never been alone with her, well, not really, not since he had bumped into her at the library, and even then, he’d sat next to her and never spoke a word for fear of the dreaded Miss Hetheringay giving him one of her looks you only saw in horror films.

Frank had gone over in his mind a hundred times, the words he wanted to use to ask Jenifer out on a date, and would regularly berate himself at the last minute for the lack of courage when a rare occasion presented itself.  To ease his frustration, he would convince himself that, ‘It’s just that there were too many people around, or it wasn’t the right moment.’

They could hear the music before they even entered the club.  Mrs. Miller, the ancient caretaker, and unofficial bouncer, gave Frank the once over, then smiled as he handed her his ‘half a dollar’ coin. As she stamped the back of his hand, she leaned forward and quietly spoke in his ear “Jenifer is over by the Jukebox, love.”

Once inside, Frank and his mates mingled with their mates.  But Frank’s eyes were searching for Jenifer.  He wanted to impress her, but just as he caught sight of her, the beat of Cliff and the Shadows filled the hall and the dance floor was suddenly filled with screaming, jiving, and, twisting dancers. 

Frank watched as Butterworth casually sauntered up to Jenifer and joined her circle of friends. He watched to see her reaction and was pleased that she appeared not to like what he had done, then smiled as Fay, one of Jenifer’s friends, danced in between them.

As he stood with his back to the wall watching Jenifer dancing, several of his female friends asked him if he wanted to dance, but Frank was saving himself for his girl.

Half an hour later, the music stopped for snacks and Jenifer and her friends moved towards the table of sandwiches and squash. Butterworth had given up trying to muscle in on Jenifer and was messing about with a couple of his mates on the far side of the hall. 

Frank took a deep breath.  “This was it,” he told himself, then straightened his tie and moved slowly towards Jenifer and her friends.  As usual, he felt his hands go clammy; he started to sweat and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest.  Then he froze.

He suddenly became aware that Mrs. Miller was standing beside him. He felt her hand touch his elbow as she spoke quietly to him.

“Listen, love, just take a deep breath and go up to her.”

“What do I say to her?”  He could sense panic starting to set in.

“Just say, hello Jenifer, you look nice this evening.  Fancy a dance?”

“No…. I can’t”

Without warning he felt himself being gently propelled towards Jenifer and her friends. He tried to wriggle out of it, but before he knew what was happening, he was standing in front of Jenifer.  Everyone was now staring at Frank.  No one moved, and then he suddenly came to his senses.

 “Hello Jenifer.  You look nice tonight.  When the music starts, would you mind if…”

Before he could finish, Jenifer stepped forward, took Frank by his shoulders, and leaned into him.

“Frank, I’d love to dance with you, all night, if you’d let me.”

Several of her friends started clapping and some even said out loud, “About time.”

That evening Frank walked her home. They talked about everything and nothing as they strolled hand in hand towards her home.  Frank noticed as they started to walk down Jamerson’s Drive. everyone seemed to have the same blinds and how, when the light shone on the blinds you could easily make out the silhouettes of the people who lived there. They began to laugh as they made up stories and jokes about some of the silhouettes.

Every Friday night, Frank would walk Jenifer home and after a while, he stopped remembering which turns to take, as long as he ended up at her red door with a bronze number 58 on it.

After three months, they were viewed by many of those who frequented the club, as the perfect couple, except Butterworth who had become jealous as he watched the love affair unfold and begun to plot to split them. He started to spread rumours about the two of them, and when confronted, he’d denied ever saying such things.

Then, on the first Friday of September, Phillipa, one of the girls who flat shared with Jenifer told him that Jenifer had gone down with the flu and was confined to her bed. For some reason, Frank felt a little let down.  Why hadn’t she told him herself, he thought.

During that week Frank tried telephoning her, but her line was always engaged.  Frank started to fret for her and on the following Friday, Frank, on entering the club sought out Phillipa.  He needed to know if Jennifer was alright.  As he approached, her on the dance floor he noticed that Phillipa was in the arms of someone.

As he tapped her on the shoulder, he noticed that the boy kissing her was Roy, and not Mike, her boyfriend.  Phillipa lazily glanced at Frank and realized that he wanted to know about Jenifer.

With a guilty expression on her face, she quietly said. “Not now Frank, I’m sorta busy.

Frank now felt rejected, and confused.  It was then that Max, one of his friends approached him.

“Listen Frank. It’s probably nothing, but that fat slob Jenkins, you know, he hangs around with Butterworth. Well, he’s just told me that Jenifer is fine and that Butterworth and her have been shacking up together for the past two weeks.”

Frank suddenly felt cold. He recalled the guilty expression on Phillipa’s face and that the two weeks Jenifer had been ill, were the same two weeks that Butterworth had been missing from the club. It all made sense now.

Something seemed to snap in Frank’s mind and he hurried towards the club door.  The cold night air brought him to his senses, as he turned and started to run towards Jenifer’s flat.  After twenty minutes, he realised that he wasn’t sure of his bearings, then he saw the street with the blinds at all the windows.

By now Frank’s imagination was running wild as he sprinted down the street until he came to the red door with the brass number 58, and stopped. His mind was all over the place.  Standing in the cold wind he saw the silhouette of two people come together on the blind.  His heart was pounding in his chest as they slowly embraced each other and began kissing slowly and passionately.

Frank screamed, then ran up to the red door, and began hammering on it, demanding that it be opened immediately.

The door was wrenched open and there, standing in front of him, was a tall ginger-haired man who, judging by the expression on his face, was not best pleased.

“What the hell do you want son?”

“I want to see Jenifer, right now!  I saw you kissing her.”

“Who is Jenifer?” As the man spoke, a woman appeared beside the man.

“Who is it darling?”

“This lad is looking for some girl called Jenifer.”

“Does your Jenifer work in Barclays?”

Frank was suddenly taken aback with the question and nodded.

The woman laughed. “Sorry love, but this is 58 Jamerson’s Drive.  Your Jenifer lives at 58 Jamerson’s Road, two streets down.

As Frank sprinted down the street, the woman yelled after him. “You can’t miss it, love, It has a brass number 58 on a bright red door.”

When Frank reached Jenifer’s flat, he stumbled up to the front door and rang the bell.  He seemed to wait for ages and began to wonder what he would do if Butterworth opened the door.  

Very slowly the door opened and there stood Jenifer, wrapped up as if she was about to go hiking in the Antarctic.

Frank just stood there admiring the girl he loved.  Jenifer smiled and he could see the love in her eyes, then she frowned as she realised that she must look a state, and went to close the door.

Frank stepped into the foyer, reached out and gently held her in his arms until he felt her respond. They stood there for a while, just holding each other.

“Jenifer, my darling, I was so worried about you.  I tried calling but your phone was always engaged.”

“I’m alright my love, just a really bad cold and didn’t want to be bothered.” 

Frank thought for a bit, then gently kissed her forehead.

“Darling, I love you so much and want to spend the rest of my life with you. We can be the silhouette on the shade.”

Upstairs in Jenifer’s bedroom, Butterworth lay listening to the conversation, then grinned.

 Copyright Bob French

Friday 5 January 2024

Riddles 10

 Riddles 10

 

By the Riddler


 

The Riddler has two puzzles for us today:

 

No 1.   TWT ~ FSS ~ MTW ~ ??? 

 

No 2.   A man goes into a lift, presses 5th floor & walks up to the 6th floor.  Going down he calls the lift to the 6th floor.  Why doesn’t he press for 6th floor on his way up?

 

Keep em coming Riddler

 

Sunday 24 December 2023

48 a very Good Year.

 

  48 a very Good Year. 

By Len Morgan

  I have fond early memories of 1948, and my childhood, just after the war.  The production of munitions stopped and the production of cars resumed at Dagenham.  So after demobilisation, Dad got a job in the River Plant at Briggs Bodies, soon to become a subsidiary of the Fords Motor Company.

 Rationing was still in force and shortages were the norm.  There were four hundred houses in Western Avenue, where we lived, but only two cars.   One belonged to Doctor Smithers, the other to Bill Roach a neighbour.   Bill had been in the RAF, as aircrew, and lost both legs when his plane was shot down.  He drove a Ford Prefect that had been converted to operate with hand controls.   At that time the streets were still safe for children to play in, and that was where I first discovered I had a sense of humour.  In 1948 I was an ancient three-and-a-half-year-old.

.-...-. 

 It looked like a tea cosy but it was a hat.   Grass green inside, orange, red, green and blue outside, with a large blue pom-pom on the top.   Mum religiously planted it on my head whenever I went out to play.   But, as soon as she went in, I removed it and stuffed it up the drain pipe.   When I returned I would retrieve it and nobody was any the wiser.   One blustery day I returned but forgot to retrieve the hat.  When mum asked where it was I said the wind had blown it away. So she bought me a brown French Beret (see photo). 

 That winter we had a series of heavy rainstorms and the gutters overflowed.   Dad decided to clean them out, but first, he checked the downpipes, where he discovered the remains of my hat.   He solemnly announced, to Mum and me, that a small furry creature had got trapped in the pipe and died.   He made us turn our backs whilst he extricated it and buried it with full ceremony. 

“Heh heh heh!

.-...-.

    In the spring of 48, Dad told me off for calling our next-door neighbour Arry!

“You mustn’t call him Harry, that’s disrespectful.   Call him Mr Thomas!” he said.

Next morning, I was in the garden when out came Mr Thomas to do some gardening.

“Hello Lenny,” he said with a smile.

“Ello Arry.   Mustn’t call you Arry, aye Arry.   Mr Thomas aye Arry?

Dad looked as if he would suffocate attempting to stifle his laughter.   Harry had no such inhibitions. 

Here I am, good job they didn't know what fiendish plots were hatching behind that cherubic face.

 

 

Saturday 23 December 2023

HaikuKATHA

 HaikuKATHA

By Robert Kingston

This one was published in the haikuKATHA journal. India.

 

Have a merry Christmas and new year.

See you in 2024

 

time warp

telling the youth

I was young once

 

Copyright Rob Kingston

 

Friday 22 December 2023

Miracle Child

 Miracle Child

By Len Morgan

At a time when women were shorter than men, shy, pretty, and demure, Ivy Melsom was none of these.  She was 6’ 2”, a plain, slim, swarthy, woman with four redeeming features. She had kind brown eyes that drew people in; she was a shrewd businesswoman and a good judge of character.  She owned and ran a successful General Store and when times were hard she knew who she could extend credit to, which endeared her to her neighbours.   

  But, what she most desired in all the world was a child of her own. At 54 she knew she was long past childbearing but she retained her hope and prayed.

.-…-. 

Michael Cambell owned a truck in which he hauled goods and disposed of rubbish.  He also worked on building sites, did odd jobs, anything to buy a few pints.  At 42 he employed his good-natured blarney to get work, or to charm the pants off of women.  He was homeless by choice but seldom slept on the streets or in his truck.  His Irish charm always seemed to get him a bed for the night; sometimes with willing female company.  He moved around the country, often with regular stopovers where he was sure of creature comforts. 

.-…-. 

Patrick Cambell, Michael's son, possibly the result of one of his many dalliances was 10 years old; old beyond his years. He had become the ace up his father's sleeve.  More so now that Mick was on the wrong side of forty, Patrick became his foot in the door.  Sympathy was just one of the many tricks he used to gain entry into the lives of unsuspecting women.

.-…-. 

And so it was that young Patrick was delivering fliers advertising his father's business.  He entered the ‘Melsom Emporium’ and delivered a flier, then on his way out he snatched a couple of mars bars. 

Ivy saw it and grabbed his arm.  “That will be a shilling or, you could work it off?” 

“What would ye be wantin of me missus?”

“Well, in my backyard, there's a pile of rubbish that needs moving outside the back gate.”

“Sure I’ll do dat fer ye missus…”

“My name is Ivy, call me Aunt Ivy, or just Aunty.”

“I’m Patrick, Da calls me Paddy, aunty Ivy.” He held out a grubby hand, she was surprised at his politeness but shook it anyway. She led him out back and undid the latch on the gate, half expecting him to run…  But he began picking up the boxes and carrying them out the gate forming a neat pile. 

“Are you hungry Pat?” 

“Famished. I scrumped some apples on me way here but dey wuz cookers sour as lemons, urgh!” 


Ivy smiled, “Did your Dad not give you breakfast?” 

“Nah he says workin on a full stomach makes ye lazy.”

“Well, we can soon fix that my lad.  Finnish up out here and be sure to lock the gate. I’ll see what I can rustle up.  Do you like eggs bacon and crusty buttered rolls?” She smiled when she saw the hungry look in his eyes. “Wash your hands at the sink, don’t want you catching food poisoning…” she hurried back inside and set a table for two. 

“Thanks, Aunty, dat was scrummy…” he was interrupted by the jingle of an old school bell, “Dats Mick me Da, drummin up business. He’ll take your rubbish to the tip fer a few shillins?” 

“Go call him over, then you’d best get off to school.”

“Uh?  I don’t go to no school, me an Mick belong to da University of life.”  He left the shop to hail the truck.

“Where’ve ye bin Paddy, I’ve had to drive as well as ring da bell …”  Ivy followed him out to the storefront. 

“Aunt Ivy has a pile dat needs shiftin Mick.”

“Aunt Ivy is it?  Mmm, dats quite a pile ye have der miss-aunt Ivy if I may be so bold.  I’d say ooh ten bob…” 

“Well, Mick you’re a businessman like myself, with a family to feed?  So I’ll make you an offer.  Five bob to take it to the tip; won’t take more than a thimble full of petrol or half an hour of your time.” 

“Ah! You’re a hard woman,” he spat in his right palm and offered his hand. She shook her head and smiled. 

“Right, get it onto the truck Paddy, then ye can take de bell.”

At that moment two customers arrived, so Ivy handed Mick two half-crowns and followed her customers into the store. 

.-…-.

A few days later, at nine o’clock on a cold drizzly evening. just as Ivy was closing up, Pat entered the store. “Ten Senior Service please Auntie,” he said offering her a ten bob note, then seeing the look on her face said,  “Dey’re fer Mick, not me.”

“I should think not, you’re far too young to be smoking.”

“Would ye know of a nearby lodgin house aunty?  We need somewhere to stay…”

“Open the back gates and tell him to drive his lorry in, it’s much too late to be knocking on doors, I have a spare room.  You can stay here for the night.” 

“Thank you, Aunty.”  While Pat let Mick in she finished locking up.

“Tanks missus, you're full of de milk-o-human-kindness,” Mick began… 

“It’s only for one night you understand?”

“Oh, we do, Dat’s grand.” 

I’ll show you to the room, but there’s only one bed so you’ll have to share, and no smoking.” 

“It’ll beat our leakin cab on a night like dis, so it will.” 

“I’m up at six to open the store, I have breakfast at seven so I’ll want you out by eight, don’t want tongues wagging.”

.-…-. 

The alarm clock went off at six, Ivy got up, and Mick stirred beside her.  “Come along Mick time to get up!  Patrick starts school today and I don’t want him to be late. You’ve been here a month now, so you should know the routine.  You came in at eleven last night, drunk as a Lord and you woke us both up…” 

“I was totin fer business, and I got offered a job fer six months makin' muck at a site in Barnsley, So Paddy will not be goin ta school here in Barkin, he’ll be comin wi-me!”

“ I think Patrick is old enough to make his own mind up about that…” 

“Make me mind up bout what?” 

“We’re movin to Barnsley, I got a job der, so ye can ferget about schoolin!”

Pat looked at Ivy, and at the new school uniform she'd purchased, “I’m stayin here wi Aunt Ivy, if she’ll have me? ye can go to Barnley or Timbuktu if ye like, I'm stayin!” 

“She’s not your Aunt ye know, she’s nothing to ye Paddy, I’m yer Da…”

“Are you?” Ivy asked, “so, where’s his mother?”

“She’s dead!  Died in childbirth halfway down the A1, she thumbed a lift then went into labour beside the road.  I ran to a call box, the amberlance arrived half hour later, took her to the hospital, and I followed em…”

“So do you have his birth certificate?  Did you even register his birth?” 

“No…” Mick said stony-faced. He dressed, packed his grip, and stormed out of the store, without saying another word. He grabbed a box of two hundred cigarettes, and a bottle of whiskey as he went! His truck roared off in a cloud of exhaust fumes, Neither to be seen or heard from again…

.-…-. 

Seven years later Patrick Melsom received 6 ‘A’ grade GCE passes and his application for a place at Oxford has been accepted.

“I’m so proud of you son, you came into my life as if in answer to a prayer,” said Ivy.

“Thanks, Mum, what I’ve accomplished is all down to you.  I could never repay you for what you’ve given me.”  He put his arms around her and gave her a hug.  

She smiled through her happy tears and squeezed him affectionately, 'my miracle child' she thought.

Copyright Len Morgan