Youth is wasted on the young (300 words)

Youth is wasted on the young

By Len Morgan 

“Shuddup yer noisy little scrote, or I’ll give you a right slappin!” she grabbed the girl by her hair, dragging her closer to the pushchair, occupied by a screaming, grubby faced infant with candlewax running from his nose. “Shutit Jamile or I’ll sort you too!”

Jamile increased the volume by a few decibels.

“Bloody kids! Can’t you shut em up? They’re doin me head In!” 

“Maybe if you got a job you’d have somethin else to screw wiv it!” 

“Work? Wots that? Last refuse of my famlee.” 

“My parents worked all their lives. They got a house, a pension, and a proper lifestyle. They don’t avta wait for handouts from the dole.” You’re spunging on their taxes…” 

“Wot I’d pay if I wos mug enuf to work? Anyway my dads gota penshun.”

“I didn’t know your dad had a pension.” 

“He doesn’t, it’s me granddads.”

“I thought he’d been dead for years?” 

“Yea, but the penshun cumpernee don’t know that.”

“How old was he when he… (Shut it Jamile) ~ Died?”       

“Ninety free!” 

“Aint they twigged it yet?” 

“Nah we jus showem his telegram from the queen; innit.” 

“Wot about his death certificate… (Jamile!)”

“Nah we didn’t report is def, we put Im on a bomfire, 5^th November, made a grate guy…” 

“Sasha, come back here!” She grabbed Sasha and hauled her back to the pushchair.” 

“But I wanna see the puppies in that cage,” she tried to pull away again. 

“Honestly, I akst you to do one simple fing; stay here wive the chair…” 

“But I want…” she received a resounding slap.

.-...-. 

“Kelvin? When’s bomfire night?”

“I told yer it’s the fifth.” 

“Three days… Does the guy have to be male?”

“Ha ha ahh!        Fault yer wer gonna…

 

(Youth is wasted on the young ~ Kevin Andersson)