EXTRACT CHAPTER TWO ‘WHEN THE BUGLES CALL’ (2 & Last)

 EXTRACT CHAPTER TWO ‘WHEN THE BUGLES CALL’  (1913 – Carlisle)

 By Bob French

At a special meeting of the officers and NCO's who commanded the various exercise platoons during the annual combat exercise, Colonel Wessex sat at the head of table and slowly shook his head and glanced down at the sheet of paper listing who had participated in the exercise.

“Second Lieutenant Sheridon.  You commanded the 12^th platoon. According to the umpires, you were disqualified for going outside the exercise area.  Please explain?”

Major Jack Wilberforce silently cringed as Lieutenant Nicholas Sheridon looked up in shock. Sheridon was a tall lanky young man with a mop of unruly fair hair and rimmed glasses which he wore on the end of his nose.  He was without doubt, an exceptionally intelligent young man and wondered what he was doing in the army.  He had been told on a number of occasions that his only interest was in ornithology. His platoon sergeant seemed to run the show.

“Yes Sir, most unfortunate. Sorry about that…… Sir”

“Would you like to tell me how you managed to wonder off into Scotland and nearly causing a diplomatic incident?”

Some of the men around the table started to titter until the 2IC called for silence.

“Well Sir, my platoon’s location was to be three miles south of Hadrian’s Wall.  According to my scouts, which I sent out once we had arrived, there was a platoon wearing green arm bands a mile or so to our east and blue, a couple of miles south of us.  An umpire arrived just before midnight and suggested that I move to a new location due to the possibility of serious flooding.  I took into consideration the morale of the men and decided to move.  The umpire agreed to lead us to a better location.  So, during the night the platoon followed me and the umpire for about two hours until we came to a perfect location where I quickly set up camp and posted sentries.  All seemed to be well until just after stand-too the next morning when out of the mist a gentleman in a kilt and holding a long staff, accompanied by three dogs appeared yelling at us.   I could not understand a word he was saying.”

The Colonel interrupted him. “That would be Lord Ayron McMillun.”

The room filled with laughter until the 2IC raised his hand, demanding silence.

“Yes Sir.  One of my men spoke Scottish and translated.  After I had apologized to the chap, sorry, his Lordship, and offered him a glass of whiskey, he seemed to settle down and we talked a while about the wild birds that nested in the region, very interesting chap Sir. Did you know that there are three sets of….”

  “Yes, thank you Lieutenant Sheridon. Can you describe this umpire?”

“Not really Sir.  The weather was atrocious, to say the least and visibility was very poor.  But he did give his name Sir.”

“Well?”

“It was Captain Connaught-Simpson Sir.”

The Colonel glanced down the table to Connaught-Simpson, the son of the local Member of Parliament, who frowned and shook his head.

The Adjutant quietly whispered into the Colonel’s ear that Captain Connaught-Simpson was the battalion duty officer during this period and would not have left barracks.

“Have you ever met Captain Connaught-Simpson before?”

Lieutenant Sheridon seemed to frown then look sideways as though thinking. “No Sir, I don’t think I have had the pleasure.”

“Thank you. The Colonel took a deep breath and turned to his Chief Clerk.

“Mr. Perkins.  You were responsible for the conduct of the exercise, what is your opinion?”

“May I be frank Sir?”

“Please do.”

“The rules for the exercise were too vague and many of the events we, the umpires, observed were pitiful.”  Suddenly the room filled with accusations and angry protest.

Mr. Perkins raised his hands for silence, but no one took any notice until Major Jack Wilberforce stood up and thumped the table, bringing the room to silence.  He apologized to his Colonel, stared around the table, but he wasn’t finished.

“May I remind you that if the situation in Europe does not improve, we, gentlemen, will be at war with the Germans.  The German army comprises of mainly Prussian troops and probably out number us three to one. At least three officers around this table were invited to the German War games last year, and I can assure you that I for one was very impressed with the individual combat skills of not only the officers, but their SNCO’s and men.  If they attacked us today gentlemen, I’m sorry, but we would buckle within twenty-four hours, the annual camp isn’t some jolly for the men to enjoy, it is supposed to prepare them and the officers for war.  From what I have heard this afternoon, we collectively lack the understanding how war is fought.  There are no rules in war and the 13^th platoon were the only platoon who whilst playing just inside the rules, thought outside the box.  I will be honest with you all.  Had the exercise gone on for a week, the 13^th Platoon would have wiped the boards with you all.”  He nodded to his Colonel, then sat down.  No one spoke for a minute. Then Major Wilberforce turned to his Colonel.

“Sir, with your permission, I would like to sit down with Mr. Perkins and his umpires and Sergeant Bateman and go over in detail their findings and suggestions and then present to you a revised training program for the battalion with the view to preparing to fight in a European war, with no rules.”

His comments sent a silent shudder through the room. War, was something people spoke about, which took place a thousand miles away against savages who lived in mud huts and used antiquated weapons.

The Colonel stood, glanced around the room, and then spoke.

“Training Major, you have my blessing.  Please let me have your draft plan once it is ready.  In the mean time I know the CO of the Royal Irish, who are a crack infantry Regiment.  I shall ask him if he can lend me a couple of his SNCO’s to help you; Dismissed.”

As everyone rose, the 2IC discretely reminded the CO the purpose of the meeting.

“Yes, thank you Christopher.  Mr. Perkins, the winners of the annual combat exercise is to stand. The 13^th Platoon. Thank you, that is all.”

It took the Adjutant and the orderly room corporal a few minutes to clear the corridor outside the conference room, from those who had attended the meeting and now felt that they had not been heard and wanted to complain that the dregs of the battalion, the labour platoon, had defeated them by cheating during the combat exercise.

That evening, when most of the company officers had retired to their homes and the SNCO’s to their billets, Colonel Wessex called his Chief Clerk in.

“Mr. Perkins, please can you ask Major Wilberforce if he can spare a minute.”

Within a few minutes, Major Wilberforce, who had an inclination what the summons was about, knocked on his CO’s door and entered.

“Thank you for sparing me a few moments of your time Jack.  Please take a seat. I have to say that the meeting this afternoon was an eye opener.  Are we really that poor?”

Jack Wilberforce had served in the first and the second battalions of the Royal Cumberland Fusiliers since being commissioned, and over the years seen the gradual decline of professionalism since the end of the Boer War. He knew what questions his CO would put to him, and more importantly, how to answer them.

 

Copyright Bob French